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Just the Facts, Ma’am…
The weary gumshoes slept late the next morning, barely rising
early enough to get dressed and pack their bags. After loading their luggage
in the small trunk of Jack’s Mustang Boss, they climbed in the car and headed
to LAX. “Thanks for driving us to the
airport,” Jim said from the backseat, slightly relieved that Jack hadn’t
asked about their rental car. “No problem,” Jack replied as he
smoothly shifted gears. After a moment of silence, he added, “By the way,
your ‘nondescript’ Mercedes Benz was recovered after a drug bust. It’s been
impounded for evidence.” “Make sure it gets returned to the
Avis dealership after the trial,” Jim remarked dryly, his previous relief
being short-lived. Jack chuckled heartily and shook his
head in slight disbelief. “So, when did you lose the rental car, Professor?” “The night we got here,” Brian
snorted. “I assume that was all part of your
diabolical plan?” Jack deadpanned as he looked at Jim from the rearview
mirror. Jim merely shifted in his seat,
trying to find a position where his knees weren’t digging into his chest.
Remembering Jack’s advice yesterday, he scooched his feet out as far as he
could. “I can’t wait to go home,” Brian
commented, wearily leaning against the comfortable seat. “Keenan Investigations will mail a
check out to the Belden-Wheeler Agency as soon as Reginald Hughes pays us,”
Jack informed them. “The precinct
called me first thing this morning. ‘Delirious Meanderings’ was recovered
from Tyrone Duvall’s house.” “Great,” Jim said, a relieved smile
on his face. “That’s good news,” Brian added.
“I’m glad something positive came out of this horrible experience.” “Reginald Hughes was ecstatic to learn we’d found his painting,”
Jack told them. “I’ll be sure and tell Trixie… errr… Beatrix… what a good job you did.” Jim groaned. “You don’t have to lie
for us.” “I’m not lying,” Jack insisted.
“Your goal was to find Shannequa Montage and learn where the painting was.
You accomplished that goal. Your methods were rather unconventional, but they
worked…” “Our quote-unquote (here, Brian used
the now-infamous finger quotes) method
was dumb luck,” Brian said with a snort. “I think from now on, I’ll leave the
detective work to Beatrix and Madeleine.” “Me too,” Jim agreed. He paused
briefly, then looked at Jack hopefully. “Uhh, Jack… We don’t have to tell
Trixie about the hookers, do we?” Jack made eye contact with Jim from
the rearview mirror. “It’ll be our secret. As of now, all details of this
mission are going in the vault.” “Thanks,” Jim told him earnestly.
“And thanks again for going out with Detective Redding so she’d drop the
charges against us.” “No problem,” Jack replied. “Just
pray that I survive Friday night…” He parked the convertible at the airport,
and released the trunk so Jim and Brian could get out their luggage. “Got everything?” he asked. “Think so,” Brian said. He stuck out
his hand for Jack to shake. “Nice meeting you, Jack. Thanks again for the
help.” “No, thank you for cracking this
case,” Jack told him. “Obviously you share your sister’s talent for
interrogation.” After Brian stepped away, Jim held
out his freckled hand for Jack. With a smile, Jack clasped Jim’s hand firmly,
as the two put all their differences to rest and accepted the other’s
friendship. “I really appreciate how you got us
out of jail,” Jim said. “An arrest for prostitution could really hurt my
school.” “Well, if you hadn’t given Christina
my name like I told you to, it might not have come to that,” Jack admitted.
“Thanks for agreeing to work on this case.” “It was kind of fun,” Jim chuckled.
“Never a dull moment.” “I’m sure Ralph would help you get
your PI license, if you’d be interested,” Jack teased. “He’d even set you and
Detective up in your own office. A husband and wife detective team, just like
Hart to Hart.” “Yeah, Frayne to Frayne,” Jim
snickered. “Thanks for the offer, but I think I’ll stick to school
administration and leave the mysteries to Trixie.” “Well, that might be for the best,”
Jack replied with a wink. “And remember, Mona and Peaches are
in the vault,” Jim warned. “They’re locked up safe and tight,”
Jack promised. “Thanks again, buddy.” Jim thumped
Jack on the back in a gesture of friendship. “If there’s any way I can repay you
for your kindness, let me know.” Jack’s auburn brows rose slightly.
“I just might hold you to that.” “Go ahead,” Jim vowed. “If you need
something, anything at all, let me know. That’s what friends are for.” A serious expression clouded Jack’s
usually cheerful face. “By any chance, are there any teaching positions open
at your school, Professor?” “Maybe,” Jim answered with a shrug.
“Thinking of going into teaching?” Jack shook his head slightly. He was
smiling, but the clouds still remained in his hazel eyes. “No, I was just
curious. I think I’ll stick with being a gumshoe.” “If you change your mind, give
Trixie a call,” Jim offered. “She can get a hold of me.” Jack earnestly smiled this time as
he listened to Jim’s statement. His former rival’s words had a double
meaning. One, it was an offer of assistance if it was ever needed. Two, it was a declaration of trust. Jim knew his intentions were
honorable. Jack didn’t take that lightly.
After a six hour flight from LAX to
JFK, and an hour-long car ride back to Sleepyside, the exhausted gumshoes
pulled into the Manor House driveway. Too tired to even get their luggage out
of Jim’s Suburban, they trudged into the house, into the waiting arms of
their recuperating sweethearts. “Jim!” and “Brian!” the girls
whooped in delight as they threw their arms around their respective man. “I just got off the phone with
Jack,” Trixie told them excitedly. “He just delivered some painting a little
bit ago. And you’ll never guess what!” Jim chuckled at his fiancée’s
exuberance. In a million years, he knew he’d never be able to guess, so to
save time, he asked, “What?” “Jack told this Reginald guy about
the men who worked on his case and found the painting,” Trixie explained
excitedly. “And from what Jack told me, the client was rich—” “Filthy rich,” Honey interrupted,
just as excited as Trixie. “Wheeler Enterprises has purchased land from him
before, and he’s loaded.” “Really?” Trixie scrunched up her
pert nose. “Wow. That’s a coincidence. Why was your dad buying property?” “I’m not sure,” Honey replied with a
slight shrug of her slim shoulders. “I think they were building an office or
something…” Brian smiled at his sister and girlfriend,
amused by the fact that they could get sidetracked so easily. He cleared his
throat loudly. “So what’s the exciting news?” “Oh!” Trixie exclaimed, hopping up
and down in her haste to give the news. “Jack told Reginald Hughes that
Keenan Investigations had contracted a company from New York to handle this
case. He told him that a school administrator and a doctor had actually
located his painting for him.” Jim frowned, worried that the
wealthy entrepreneur would not be pleased with that bit of news. “Was he
mad?” “Good grief, no!” Trixie gave Jim a quick
hug to reassure him. “He didn’t care who solved the case, as long he got his
artwork back.” “So what’s the wonderful news?”
Brian urged, a bit more curious than he cared to admit. “Apparently Jack and Reginald
discussed your school, Jim,” Honey explained, her hazel eyes shining.
“Reginald was so pleased to have his painting back that in addition to his
fee, he’s going to make a hefty donation to Ten Acres Academy!” “For one million dollars!” Trixie
squealed, enjoying the shock on Jim’s face. “That’s great!” Jim picked Trixie up
and twirled her around the room. “That might even take care of that library
that we want to build.” “That’s wonderful news!” Brian
agreed, scooping Honey up for a big hug. “That makes the whole weekend worth
it.” “Jack said that Reginald was going
to mail the check out at once,” Trixie said. “All he requested is that you
put up a plaque as a thank you for the donation.” “We’ll erect a statue, if he wants
us to,” Jim snorted, still surprised by the generosity of Mr. Hughes. “We’ll
even name the library after him.” Honey shook her head. “No, Jim,” she
corrected, “the plaque won’t have Reginald Hughes’ name on it. He requested
that it be in honor of someone else.” Jim scratched his chin thoughtfully.
“Who? A relative of his or something?” Trixie laughed. “No silly! He wanted
to do something nice for the person who gave you the clue… Shannequa
Montage.” Jim and Brian both looked at each
other, mouths agape and eyes wide. “Shannequa Montage?” they both muttered
simultaneously. “Wasn’t she the informant you were
supposed to track down?” Honey questioned. “The Shannequa Montage Ten Acres
Academy Library,” Jim murmured, his horror-filled face ashen. “What’s the big deal?” Trixie
questioned, her sandy brows creased in speculation. “A million dollars is a
million dollars. Who cares if you have to put a plaque up with some weird
name on it?” Jim and Brian exchanged glum looks,
and then Jim said, “You don’t understand, Trix. Shannequa Montage is a drag
queen.” “A d-d-drag queen?” After several
attempts, Trixie finally was able to choke out the word in spite of her
laughing. “Y-y-you tracked… *giggle*… d-down a… *giggle*… drag qu-queen all weekend?”
Honey doubled over and laughed until her sides hurt. Jim and Brian exchanged a look of
disgust, the girls’ laughter further wounding their already-battered manly
pride. Jim sighed loudly and rolled his green eyes, as Brian tapped his foot
impatiently and drummed his fingers against his crossed arm. “Are you finished?” Jim snapped, his
jaw set stubbornly. “N-n-not y-yet!” Trixie gasped,
wiping the tears that streamed down her cheeks. Jim merely shook his head in disgust
and muttered a few phrases under his breath, while Brian yawned and checked
his watch. Honey fanned her face by waving her
hands quickly in front of it. “Let me get this straight. You…” she giggled
again as she pointed to the two suit-clad, fedora-wearing gumshoes, “…spent
the whole weekend chasing a transvestite?” “Why yes,” Brian replied curtly as
he claimed a seat far away from Trixie and Honey. “Yes, we did. And we did a
fine job of it, too.” “And in spite of the awkward
circumstances, Reginald Hughes has his ugly La Crappy painting back,” Jim
said defiantly, crossing his own arms in front of his chest defensively. Trixie, still giggling at the visual
of her straight-laced fiancé and ultra-conservative brother chasing after a
drag queen, contritely wrapped her arms around Jim’s waist and nuzzled his
neck. “Oh,
sweetie, I don’t mean to make fun,” she told him apologetically. “But it was
so funny that I couldn’t help laughing.” Honey crossed the room and climbed
into Brian’s lap. “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have laughed.” Trixie led a still-grumpy Jim over to
the sofa opposite Brian. “C’mon, Jim. Don’t be mad. You haven’t even told us
about the case yet.” “Yeah!” Honey agreed. “Jack told us
you did an excellent job. Tell us how you did it.” Relenting slightly, Jim sat down on
the sofa and pulled Trixie onto his lap. “I don’t know…” “Please, Jim!” Trixie begged. “I
always tell you about my cases.” “What all did Jack tell you?” Brian
questioned, his casual tone belying his gut-wrenching fear of discovery. “He wouldn’t tell us anything,
except that you did a good job,” Honey replied, running her fingers through
Brian’s dark, wavy hair. “He insisted that it was your story to tell.” “Well, it’s really not polite to
brag…” Jim began with feigned humility. “You have our permission to gloat
all you want,” Trixie offered hopefully. “Pleeeeease, Jim? How’d you do it?” Jim tenderly stroked Trixie’s
cheekbone, as she looked pleadingly into his eyes. She shook her head
slightly, making “his” curl bob on her forehead. His fingers moved from her
face to that ringlet of hair, and as he began winding it around his finger,
he sighed in defeat. “It was Brian who cracked the case,”
he admitted, giving his fellow gumshoe a nod. “But Jim was the one who got us
inside the jail cell where Shannequa was,” Brian added, making sure to give
credit where credit was due. “True, but you helped with that
too,” Jim grinned, thinking about Detective Christina Redding. “It was a group effort,” Brian
summed up, as he pulled Honey nearer to him. As he raised his lips to claim
hers in a kiss, a loud sneeze erupted from him. “KER-CHOOOO!!!” Honey pulled away and placed a
slender hand on his forehead. “Uh-oh,” she muttered softly. “ ‘Uh-oh’ what?” Brian asked
nervously. “Are you feeling all right,
sweetheart?” Honey inquired, smoothing his hair away from his face. “I feel a little run down, but it’s
probably from working on the case,” Brian said. However, before he could say
anything else, another loud “KER-CHOO” shook his body. “Sounds like Brian’s got the
plague,” Trixie said with a giggle. “No, I don’t,” he argued, pulling
his handkerchief out of his pocket and wiping his nose with it. “I just have
a cold.” “That’s how ours started,” Honey
told him sympathetically. “And your head is very hot.” Meanwhile, across the room Trixie stifled
a giggle as Jim whispered, “She’d better be talking about his forehead.” “I’m not sick,” Brian insisted, but
before he could state his case, a tickling in his throat forced him to cough. “Come on, Doctor Brian,” Honey said,
standing up and then helping her boyfriend to his feet. “I’m going to take
you to Crabapple Farm. I think you need some of Moms’ chicken soup.” “I’m not s-si… KER-CHOOO!!!!” Jim and Trixie laughed as they
watched Honey lead Brian out of the room, arguing the entire way about the
correct way to treat a cold. “I’m glad you’re feeling better,
Shamus,” Jim whispered, as he ran his freckled hands through her sandy curls. “Me, too,” she murmured, nuzzling
his neck. “I’ve missed you.” “Not as much as I missed you,” he told
her, kissing her lightly on the lips. Trixie tenderly ran her fingers
through his dark, russet hair as she looked deeply into his emerald eyes.
“You and Jack didn’t fight, did you?” “No, actually we got along fine,”
Jim assured her. “He’s a really nice guy, Trix. We couldn’t have made it
without his help.” “So you’re friends now?” Jim nodded. “We’re friends.” He
looked at Trixie, an impish smile on his handsome face. “So, am I promoted to
first grade, since I worked and played well with others?” Trixie playfully swatted his
shoulder. “We’ll see, you big goof.” Jim suddenly drew her closer to him,
pulling her lips toward his own. He kissed her softly at first, but
inevitably, the kiss became more passionate as it continued. After several
moments, they pulled away breathlessly. “What was that for?” she asked, her
blue eyes shining with happiness. “Just to show you I love you,” Jim
whispered, cupping her cheek in his strong hand. “I love you, too, Sergeant Friday,”
she teased affectionately. “You know, I’m sure I could talk Honey into making
you a partner. Or maybe you’d like to start your own agency? Schoolmaster
Shamus, Inc.?” He chuckled as he hugged Trixie
tightly. “Two gumshoes in the family are plenty.” “Aw, c’mon,” she coaxed. “We can
get you some business cards made. ‘When Schoolgirl Shamuses, Inc. gets sick,
we take over’, printed in red.” She giggled at the dirty look Jim shot her. “Well, I can’t speak for Brian, but
I’m officially retired,” Jim announced. “Although I must say, in spite of
your brother’s grumbling, he really had a knack for detective work. He has
your instincts.” Trixie shook her head in wonder.
“Who’d have guessed? Maybe Honey and I won’t have to totally change our sign
after our wedding. It can be Belden-Wheeler-Frayne.” “I think Brian’s gonna stick with
being a sawbones,” Jim said with a grin. “Well, if you ever change your
mind…” Jim shook his head as he looked at
his fiancée admiringly. “I don’t know if you realize it or not, but you’re
amazing.” “Amazing?” Trixie repeated with a
snort. “What do you mean?” “How you solve mysteries,” he told
her. “You have a knack for it that can’t be taught. It just comes naturally.” Tears filled Trixie’s china blue
eyes. “Thank you, Jim,” she whispered. “You’re welcome,” he replied, “and I
should’ve told you that a long time ago. I’ve always thought it, you know.” “I know.” Trixie lovingly stared
into Jim’s eyes. “When everyone else doubted me, I always knew you believed
in me. That always kept me going.” “I’ll always believe in you, Shamus.” “I love you, Jim.” Trixie wrapped
her arms around her supple redhead and kissed his cheek. “I’m so lucky to
have you. Not everyone is blessed like we are. Some people search a lifetime
for a love like we have.” “Trixie?” She pulled away slightly and
searched Jim’s face. “What?” A lopsided grin parted his lips.
“Quit flappin’ yer jaws, sweed’art, and kiss me good and hard, right square
on the lips.” Trixie giggled and gave him a mock salute.
“Yes, sir, Sergeant Friday, sir.” Without further ado, the schoolgirl
shamus did exactly as the brave
gumshoe had requested.
This is Jixemitri CWP #3. Required
elements used here were: Mention of a secondary character used in the books
(Moms and Larry Lynch, Carryover item from #1), a dairy product (Johnny’s ice
cream cone), the phrase “We’re out of toilet paper!” being shouted (Larry
shouted it while TPing the dean’s house), a hula hoop (Shannequa Montage’s
props for her act, Carryover item from #2), a snack food (pick one! We’ve got
beef jerky and an assortment of food mentioned in the scene with “Babu”, the
song “Tequila” (sung by the “all girl” band at the Funky Monkey), moldy fruit
(the moldy peach inside the trash can into which Starla’s number is thrown {a
peach was chosen because those are particularly nasty when moldy, IMCO}), a
picture taking tourist (outside the risqué shop near the Funky Monkey),
someone losing keys (Jim insisted that he didn’t lose the keys; he lost the
car!), a slinky (used by one of the drag queens), and a vibrator (Peaches
handed a red one to Brian to hold while she looked for something to write
with). A special thank you going out to my
editors who worked extra hard on this story! Thank you Steph H, Kathy, and
Kaye! You are all angels! {{{HUGS}}} Part of this story is featured in the
Jixemitri Group Story celebrating Jix’s Fifth Anniversary. If you haven’t
read it, may I invite you now to do so? Eeney-meeney-miney-moe is a popular way
for children to make important decisions. J Mr. Brawny is the lumberjack featured on
Brawny paper towels. He kind of has red hair, and obviously he reminded
Shannequa of Jim. *G* Revlon is a company that sells make-up,
as well as several other products. Their name was used without permission,
but I SHOULD be allowed to mention their name, considering how much lipstick
and nail polish I’ve purchased from them. “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful”
was featured on the commercial for some beauty product that I can’t recall
off-hand. But I can SEE the commercial in my head, and it’s really annoying
me… Reese Cup is a popular candy bar. It’s
my favorite, in fact! And I don’t know why Shannequa associated a Reese Cup
with Brian, but for some reason, it just got stuck in my mind. J Jack’s car is a Mustang Boss 302.
*dreamy sigh* And the fact that two of my editors are MAJOR Ford fanatics had
absolutely nothing to do with my choice of vehicle for Jack. I just like
them. A LOT! And I’m not usually a Ford fan; however, for the Mustang Boss, I’ll
make an exception. *wink* And thank you to Kathy, who was a wealth
of information about the aforementioned Mustang Boss 302. The original car rental agency mentioned
was Hertz; however, the other Ford fan-editor *cough STEPH cough* requested that
I change it to Avis. Since she is such a dear friend, I obliged. So Avis
people, don’t get mad at me! Hart to Hart was a popular television
show I used to watch when I was a little girl. The finger quoting was thrown in there
especially for Kathy. {{{HUGS}}} And a special thank you to Kaye for
editing this in spite of all the grief she endured. *keeses* Sergeant Friday is from the old TV show,
“Dragnet”. BTW, the business card line was
paraphrased from the similar part in #3, The Gatehouse Mystery. And
for some reason, paint wouldn’t let me write the words in red ink on the
business card at the top of the page. *pout*
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