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This story
was auctioned off during the Jixemitri Fundraiser to raise money for the Red
Cross after Hurricane Katrina. It takes place in my “Here and
Now” universe, and
was inspired by a real-life fundraiser to raise money for the same thing. Thank you to
everyone who contributed to this auction. I hope you get your money’s worth. Please be
sure to catch the outtakes from this feature on the Bloopers page.
Honey Wheeler cast an apprehensive glance
towards the entrance of the “Are you sure they’ll show up?” she nervously asked her friends,
Trixie Belden and Diana Lynch. “Of course they’ll show up,” Trixie
assured her with an impatient sigh. “We’re early. The boys don’t need to be
here for another fifteen minutes.” “Do you think they figured out our
plan?” Di anxiously twirled an ebony strand of hair around her index finger.
“Maybe they decided not to come.” Trixie shook her head. “You both worry
too much. Those silly boys don’t have the faintest idea what’s going on. Did
you bring the supplies, Di?” Diana held up a pair of large cosmetic
cases containing the things they would need for their project. “If I don’t have it, they don’t sell it,” she announced with an evil grin. Trixie surveyed the noisy crowd that
had gathered in the bleachers. “I hope you brought enough junk. We’ve got a
huge turnout. I’d hate to run out of supplies before we finished.” “We’ll have enough wax,” Di answered
confidently. “Actually, I’m more worried about running out of hair.” “Now that could be a problem,” Honey agreed with a giggle. “If we do run out of stuff to wax,
we’ll have to get… creative.”
Trixie rubbed her hands together in wicked delight. “But I doubt we’ll have
anything to worry about. I know Brian’s a hairy beast; he takes after Dad. He
probably has enough hair on his body to do the fundraiser by himself.” “Trixie!” Honey scolded with a laugh.
“Brian isn’t that hairy. You make
him sound like a gorilla. He just has a nice patch of hair on his chest. It
makes him look… manly.” Trixie groaned. “Puuh-leaze! He’s got
those dark, hairy Belden genes. You should’ve seen Hallie’s legs before she
started shaving.” Trixie shuddered as she remembered the gruesome sight. “You’re awful!” Di admonished.
However, her amused smile made it clear she was only teasing. “It’s true,” Trixie maintained. “If
Hallie doesn’t shave under her arms every day, it looks like she’s hiding a
small rodent in her armpits.” “Mart’s not hairy,” Di pointed out. “True,” Trixie agreed, “but Mart didn’t get the hairy Belden
gene. My almost-twin has all of twenty-six chest hairs, which he counts on a
regular basis. Trust me; every night I hear him in the bathroom taking roll
call.” Honey and Di hooted with laughter. “I’ll bet he puts Rogaine® on his
chest in hopes of sprouting more hairs,” Trixie continued, with a roll of her
eyes. “I’ve never noticed if Jim has hair on
his chest,” Honey commented thoughtfully. “I don’t know if he has any or not.” Di turned to her sandy-haired friend,
a sly look on her face. “I have a feeling that Trixie could tell us.” “He has a little bit,” Trixie told
them, unaware she’d been set up. “More than Mart, but not as much as Brian.” Honey’s hazel eyes met Di’s violet
ones as they smiled at each other in amusement. “Reeeally?” Honey drawled slowly. Trixie
nodded, still oblivious that her friends had noticed her profound knowledge
of Jim’s pectoral region. “The biggest difference is Jim’s treasure trail...” Di quirked an ebony brow in curiosity.
“Treasure trail? What’s that?” “You know,” Trixie murmured. “No, I’m afraid I don’t,” Di admitted. Trixie leaned in closer to her friends
and assumed a conspiratorial tone. “That trail of hair that goes from a guy’s
abs to his…” Suddenly her cheeks turned a bright crimson color. Honey placed her hands on her hips and
assumed a mock stern expression. “Just why were you looking at my very own
full-blooded adopted brother’s treasure trail, missy?” “I-I couldn’t help it,” Trixie
stammered, her embarrassment growing by the minute. “I kinda sorta
accidentally opened the bathroom door on him an—” “You walked in on Jim in the shower?!”
Di exclaimed loudly. “Trixie!” Honey’s eyes grew wide and
her mouth was agape in shock. “It was an accident!” Trixie insisted.
“And I barely saw anything, really.” Di grinned wickedly, and then leaned
closer to her sandy-haired friend. “Was he nekkid?” “Di!” Honey sputtered in horror as she
clutched her shiny hair in her slender hands. “I don’t want to hear about
‘nekkid Jim’!” “I do,” Di insisted, her tone patient
but her expression evil. “So tell us, Trixie; was he nekkid?” “No!” Trixie cried, her scarlet-colored
cheeks burning brighter by the second. “He had on a towel. And I barely even
saw him.” The corners of Di’s mouth dipped down
to form a disappointed frown. “So he was covered up with a towel, eh?” Trixie nodded. “Yeah, he had a
cream-colored towel tied around his waist. Well, it wasn’t really
cream-colored… actually it was kind of yellow. And it had navy blue rosebuds
embroidered along the edge. And there was this lacy junk—” “Barely got a look, huh?” Di
questioned, an angelic expression on her face. Trixie stuck her tongue out at her
friends. “Okay, so I noticed. Sue me. Like you two haven’t noticed my
lame-brained brothers.” Honey scratched her chin and wrinkled
her brow thoughtfully. “You said the biggest difference was Jim’s treasure
trail. How’s his different from Mart’s and Brian’s?” “I dunno,” Trixie murmured as she
fidgeted from embarrassment. “I’m not even sure my brothers have one.” A blush deepened the hue of Di’s
cheeks. “Mart does,” she whispered. “So does Brian,” Honey admitted as she
tried to stifle a giggle. Trixie’s eyes sparkled with merriment.
“What about Dan?” The three girls looked at one another,
serious expressions on each of their faces. None of them appeared willing to
offer any information. Finally, Honey confided in a quiet
voice, “No chest hair.” “But he does have a treasure trail,” Di added with a grin. “And the hair’s really dark,” Trixie
admitted in a secretive tone. Soon, all three of the girls were
giggling hysterically. The laughter subsided as Honey glanced
at the doors of the gymnasium, her expression becoming grim. “They’re going
to be so mad at us when they find
out that we tricked them,” she fretted. “Oh, pooh.” Trixie waved a hand in
dismissal to show her lack of concern. “Even if the boys do get angry, they’ll get over it. After all, it’s for a good
cause.” “When you put it that way, I’m sure they won’t have a problem
with it,” Honey said with feigned confidence. “Oh, sure,” Di answered, her voice
heavy with sarcastic overtones. “I’m sure they won’t mind at all having their
chest hairs mercilessly ripped out by the roots as they howl in pain. Why,
they may like it so well that they’ll suggest we castrate them for the next
fundraiser we do.” “You’re so dramatic,” Trixie sighed
with a roll of her eyes. “Waxing can’t be that
bad.” Di narrowed her almond-shaped eyes and
stared at her misinformed friend in bemusement. “Have you ever tried it?” “No,” Trixie retorted, “but how bad
can it be?” “Well, I had my legs waxed once,” Di
told her, “and I thought I was gonna die. It hurt terribly.” “I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” Trixie
said, her voice wavering a bit. “Mummy had a bikini wax before she and Daddy went to Acapulco,
and she said she’d rather give birth to a large baby elephant without an
epidural than ever let those sadistic beauticians near her bikini line with
scalding wax ever again,” Di informed her. Trixie’s nose wrinkled as she pondered
Diana’s words. She glanced up hesitantly at Honey. “How about your mom, Hon?
Does she get waxed?” “Yes,” Honey answered with a nod of
her head. However, just as Trixie began to relax, she added matter-of-factly,
“Before she got sober, she used to drink lots and lots of vodka before she
left for the salon. I heard Miss Trask and Celia talking about it once.
Apparently, Tom told Celia, who told Miss Trask, that he once had a bit of
trouble getting Mother into the salon once. She was so plastered that he had
to take her in through the back door.” “Honey Wheeler!” Trixie admonished
with a surprised giggle. “You’re fibbing!” “I am not,” Honey insisted, her bottom
lip distended in a pout. “It was scandalous.”
“Mrs. Wheeler got drunk before a
waxing appointment?” Di bent over, laughing uproariously. “It was a Brazilian wax,” Honey defended. “Ouch,” Trixie and Di chorused. “Now Dr. Ferris has to prescribe a high-powered valium for her
since she can’t use booze to take the edge off the pain,” Honey explained. “Jim doesn’t know about that, does he?” Trixie asked nervously.
“It might be best if he doesn’t know about the horrific suffering involved.” “I’m more worried about their egos than the pain,” Di commented. “Hey, what are a few chest hairs in
comparison to the lives of millions of people?” Honey asked brightly. “Think
of all the good that the Red Cross can do with the money we raise.” Di furrowed her brow. “I don’t know, Hon. Guys are very protective of their chest hairs.
They brag about them almost as much as they brag about the size of… well,
almost as much as they brag about other stuff.” Trixie pursed her lips as she considered the truth of Diana’s
words. “Of all the boys, I think Mart will be our biggest challenge. He’s
mighty attached to those twenty-six hairs of his, and he’s going to be
unwilling to part with them.” “What if he refuses to do this?” Di inquired. “Even worse, what if he talks the rest of the guys out of this?”
Honey queried, tears forming in her amber-colored eyes. “Who will we wax
instead?”
Trixie placed her hands on her hips and exhaled loudly. “Quit
worrying! They won’t back out. Not only would they look bad in front of all
these people, they’d ruin our fundraiser. We’d have to give back all the
money we’ve raised for the Red Cross and our honorable Boy Scouts would never
want to do that.” “You’re so evil, Trixie,” Honey
murmured, her voice slightly awestruck. “Thank you,” Trixie replied proudly,
patting her tawny-haired friend’s arm. “Now quit furrowing your brow like
that. You’re going to look like an old prune.” Di gasped and pointed towards the
entrance to the gymnasium. “Here they come,” she whispered excitedly,
clutching Trixie and Honey’s arms. Blissfully unaware of the plans the
girls had in store for them, Brian, Jim, Dan and Mart sauntered into the gym.
Upon their entrance, the onlookers in the bleachers burst into a round of
rousing applause. The boys were a bit startled by the crowd’s acclamation,
each reacting in his own unique way. Brian, never one to claim the
spotlight, blushed slightly in embarrassment. He humbly waved to the
spectators, a shy smile on his handsome face. Although Jim didn’t particularly enjoy being the center of
attention either, he recovered a bit better than Brian. To the onlookers’
delight, he flashed his charming lopsided grin and held up one muscular arm
in a confident wave. Dan, never one to shun attention from the fairer sex, glanced
around the crowd, gracing several lucky ladies with one of his devastating
grins. After winking flirtatiously to a select few, he puffed out his well-defined
chest and walked over to where Trixie, Honey and Di stood. Mart was definitely the ham of the group. He seemed delighted at
their warm reception, and gallantly bowed to the crowd to show his
appreciation. His china blue eyes twinkling with mirth, he struck a
bodybuilder’s pose in front of the bleachers and proceeded to flex his
muscles. He likely would’ve continued this for several minutes if Brian
hadn’t gripped the neck of his younger brother’s red polo shirt and dragged
him away from his adoring fans. “Wow!” Jim exclaimed once the boys had joined the girls. “Look at
this crowd! I never would’ve guessed that all these people would come to
watch us wax cars.” Brian looked around the gymnasium. “Where are the cars?” “C-c-cars?” Honey stammered nervously. Brian studied her with his serious brown eyes. “Yeah, the cars.
You know, the large objects used for driving that we’re supposed to wax for
the fundraiser?” “Oh, those cars. The
objects used for driving are in the parking lot,” Di piped up quickly,
telling herself that there were
several automobiles in the school parking lot, so she wasn’t really fibbing. Dan’s dark brows met in a deep groove above the bridge of his
nose. “Are we having the fundraiser outside now? Won’t that be a pain to move
everyone out to the parking lot?” “Oh, it won’t be ‘a pain’ for
us at all,” Trixie replied sweetly. “Now quit worrying, and leave the
details to us. We have it all organized.” “Speaking of pain…” Di murmured as she dug through the contents
of one of her large cosmetic cases. She motioned Honey and Trixie over to her
side and whispered something to them. After a minute or so, she handed each
boy a cup, which Honey filled with bottled water. Trixie followed, carefully
distributing two Advil® to each male Bob-White. Brian snarled his lip and looked at the two brown tablets with
distaste. “What’re these for?” “So you don’t have any pain later,” Trixie answered honestly. “Pain? We don’t know
the meaning of the word,” Mart concluded with a proud sniff. Jim narrowed his bright green eyes and studied Trixie
suspiciously. “Yeah, Trix. We’ve waxed lots of cars. Why would we need pain
relievers? It’s not like we’re strangers to hard work.” Trixie merely batted her china blue eyes innocently at Jim. “Oh,
no reason,” she responded airily. “I was just trying to be considerate of
your aching muscles. Sometimes waxing can make you sore.” “No need to worry about that,” Dan bragged. “You chicks keep
forgetting that we are manly men.
We’re lean, mean waxing machines.” Brian looked at each of the girls, a smug smirk on his handsome
face. “For some reason, I’m a little bit suspicious. I don’t know about this
Advil…” Honey gasped and batted her large eyes innocently at Brian. “You
don’t trust us?” “That’s not what I said,” Brian corrected gently. “But that’s what you were implying,” Trixie told him. “Okay,” Brian admitted with a laugh, “we don’t trust you.” “I can’t believe you said that, Brian,” Di said with a quiver in
her chin. “I’m hurt.” “Well, you have to admit, it’s kind of weird that you’re all of a
sudden so worried about us aching after one of the big projects you’ve
organized,” Brian said with a snort. “You weren’t concerned about us when we
refinished all that furniture, or when we fixed the clubhouse roof, or when—” “Fine,” Trixie interrupted with an indignant sniff. “Just forget
it. Go ahead and leave and we’ll do the waxing ourselves. If you can’t take
it—” “Can’t take it?” Mart interjected angrily. “We didn’t say
anything about not being able to take
it. You’re the ones treating us
like sissies by giving us Advil.” “Yeah, like we need to take pain relievers before we wax a few
cars,” Dan said with a snicker. “We have abs of steel; we don’t need
Ibuprofen.” He said “Ibuprofen” the way most men would say “pink lacy
panties”. “No, just forget it,” Trixie insisted, waving them away. “You all
go on to Wimpy’s and we girls will take care of this.” Dan hooted with laughter. “You girls really think you can wax a
bunch of cars? With those scrawny arms of yours, you wouldn’t last an hour.” “You’re being quite generous, my friend,” Mart crowed. “I doubt
these squaws would last even fifteen minutes before begging us to relieve
them.” Di quirked a sculpted eyebrow. “Oh, really?” Mart tilted his head and assumed a scholarly expression. “Fair
Diana, pointing out your lack of physical competence is in no way meant to be
derogatory. ‘Tis only an admission of the cold, hard facts.” “Oh, really?” Honey repeated, her mouth pursed to
prohibit her from saying anything else. “It’s not a slam, Honey,” Brian informed her. “We don’t think any
less of you for not being as strong and hardy as we are. You can’t help it
that you’re the weaker sex. It’s genetics.” “Oh, really?” Trixie placed her hands on her hips and
looked at each of the boys angrily. “Now, Trix,” Jim said, trying to soothe her ruffled feathers.
“Don’t get huffy. There are just some things that men are better suited for,
and this just happens to be one of them.” The angry expression slowly melted as Trixie’s lips parted into a
secretive smile. “Well, Jim, I hate to admit it, but I think you’re right.
You boys are definitely better
suited for this project than we are.” She immediately snatched the pain
relievers out of Jim’s hand and put them back in the bottle. “And since you are so manly, I’m sure you won’t even
need these Advil.” Honey quickly gathered the rest of the pills from Brian, Dan and
Mart and handed them to Trixie as well. “You’re right, Trixie. Sorry guys.
Our bad.” “And don’t worry,” Di added with a sweet smile. “We won’t offer
them to you again.” “But you’d better not back out on us after you start waxing,”
Trixie threatened. “We wouldn’t do that,” Jim said emphatically. “We said we’re
going to wax, and when we say we’re going to do something, we keep our word.” Trixie looked up at him through lowered gold-tipped lashes.
“Promise?” she asked in a husky voice. Jim gulped loudly before answering. “Promise.” “Brian, Mart, and Dan, what about you?” she inquired after
turning to the other boys. “You aren’t going to quit in the middle of the
fundraiser, are you?” “Quit?” Brian repeated with an insulted snort. “We don’t even know the
meaning of the word.” Mart placed his hand in the Boy Scout oath formation. “I do so
solemnly swear to see this project through to the denouement, collecting
every single dollar we can for the Red Cross.” “Yeah, that’s a dumb question, Trixie.” Dan shook his head in
disbelief. “As if we’ve ever wimped out on you before.” Trixie clapped her hands in an excited manner. “All right! Now
that we’ve got that settled, let’s get this show on the road!” “Great!” Jim looked around the gymnasium curiously. “So where are
the cars?” Trixie, Honey and Di exchanged sly smiles. Finally Diana spoke up
in an authoritative tone. “Take off your shirts.” Each of the boys looked up in surprise. “Huh?” Brian exclaimed incredulously. “What did you say?” “You heard the lady,” Trixie barked. “Take off your shirts. We’ve
got ten minutes until the fundraiser begins.” “I get it,” Mart grinned, unbuttoning the neck of his polo shirt.
“Haven’t you guys ever heard of a topless car wash? That’s what this is,
except we’re waxing instead of washing.” “But why do we need to take off our shirts?” Brian asked
hesitantly. “To attract the ladies,”
Mart explained with a sigh of exasperation. “They come to gawk at our manly
physiques and get their cars waxed as a bonus.” Jim narrowed his green eyes as he skeptically looked at his
friends. “And what makes us think
this will work?” “Well, if our pecs won’t bring in the chicks, nothing will,” Dan
added with a confident smile as he pulled the tight, black Harley-Davidson®
T-shirt he was wearing over his neck. After the garment was discarded on the
gym floor, he began flexing his muscles, much to the delight of the female
onlookers. Not wanting to miss out on the action, Mart whipped off his polo
shirt and flexed his muscles as well. “Welcome to the gun show,” he murmured,
flexing each arm intermittently so each one would have its moment in the
spotlight. “I’m not sure about this,” Jim commented. He nervously fingered
the second button of his hunter green flannel shirt, trying to decide if he
wanted to remove the garment. “Yeah,” Brian said with a noisy gulp. “It seems so cheap and
tawdry to wax cars without our shirts on. This must be what a Chippendale’s
dancer feels like when an old lady tries to stuff a ten-dollar bill in his
G-string.” “Oh, puh-leaze!” Trixie moaned, with a slap to her forehead.
“It’s not like we’re pimping you out or anything.” “But they’re going to be watching us,” Jim replied, anxiously
glancing over to the leering teenage girls seated on the front bleacher. “What’s the big deal? It’s only our shirts.” Dan insisted as he
changed stance to accentuate his washboard stomach. “After all, it is for charity.” “Well, if you put it that way…” Jim hesitantly began to unbutton
his shirt. With a shrug, Brian pulled his sweatshirt over his head. Once the boys were shirtless, Trixie paced in front of them, her
stride resembling a general preparing for battle. After several trips back
and forth, she changed her strategy. Instead of walking past the boys
quickly, she paused briefly in front of each one for inspection. “Mmm-hmmm,” Trixie murmured as she studied Dan’s bare chest. Honey
and Di followed behind, scribbling little notes on a pad of paper. “Just as I thought,” Trixie commented, taking in Mart’s shirtless
form. Honey and Di stifled a giggle, much to Mart’s chagrin. “Ye-es,” Trixie drawled as she took her time examining Jim’s
supple pectorals. “Move on, dear,” Honey whispered as Di prodded Trixie forward. “Very promising,” Trixie said in a pleased tone as she looked her
oldest brother up and down. “What’re you doing?” Brian asked, self-consciously covering his
bare chest with his large hands. “Assessing our arsenal,” Trixie informed him. “Arsenal?” Dan echoed. His former confidence
vanished, and suddenly he felt very vulnerable. “What’re you talking about?” “We need to know what we have to work with,” Trixie explained a bit
impatiently. Brian narrowed his eyes and studied his sister carefully. “Should
we be afraid?” “Perhaps,” Trixie answered, her dimples deepening as she grinned
wickedly. “Okay, enough with the funny business, Beatrix,” Mart ordered.
“What sort of sinister plan is being mulled in that curly head of yours?” “A plan that will raise thousands of dollars for the Red Cross,”
Trixie retorted with a pert toss of her hair. She looked down at her watch.
“It’s almost 1:30. Time to get started.” “I’ll get my supplies laid out,” Di said. She carried her things
over to the table that had been set up for them on the gymnasium floor
earlier. Dan’s gaze followed her, watching warily as Diana skillfully
opened the large, purple cosmetic cases. “What kind of supplies are those?” “Why, the supplies we’ll need for our fundraiser, silly,” Honey
answered with a soft giggle. Jim squinted his emerald green eyes. With the vision of a hawk,
he studied the objects Diana was arranging on the table. As if the contents of
her makeup trunks weren’t curious enough, a mysterious object was plugged in
on the edge of the table. “You know I’m more interested in horses than horsepower,” Jim
commented, “but that crap doesn’t look like car wax to me.” “Me either,” Brian agreed, his voice wavering slightly. “We are waxing cars, aren’t we?” “Don’t worry about those minute details,” Trixie scolded lightly.
“You just stand there and look pretty as I begin the festivities.” Scowling, Mart grabbed his sister’s upper arm as she walked by,
and pulled her towards him. “What cooks, squaw? You and I both know that
isn’t Turtle Wax® over there. In fact, if I didn’t know better, I’d swear it
bore an eerie resemblance to some of the girlie crap in Moms’ medicine
cabinet.” “What ‘girlie crap’ in Moms’ medicine cabinet?” Brian repeated
fearfully. “Oil of Olay®? Bubble bath? Moisturizer?” Mart shook his head, never taking his piercing gaze off of his
almost-twin. He watched as her lips twitched with amusement. “Blush?” Jim supplied with a shrug of his broad shoulders. “Lip
stick? That black goop girls smear on their eyelashes?” Mart shook his head again, a frown marring his features. “Birth control?” Dan suggested with a wicked gleam in his eyes.
He snickered as both of the Belden boys looked at him in a threatening
manner. “I’m not talking about birth control pills or makeup,” Mart
snapped. “I’m talking about waxing crap.” Dan’s black eyebrows rose in surprise. “Why does your mom keep
car wax in the bathroom?” “It’s not car wax, you numbskull,” Brian corrected. “Mart’s
talking about the junk women use to remove hair. Body hair.” Jim cast an apprehensive glance in the direction of the table.
“Why would Di be laying out body wax?” he asked in a frightened tone. “We
can’t wax cars with that.” “Methinks these harebrained females are delusional enough to
believe we’re going to allow them to put wax on us,” Mart deduced. His previous scowl turned into a grimace of
fear as he backed away in trepidation. “Not so fast!” Trixie commanded, pouncing on her middle brother
with the speed of a cheetah. “You promised to help!” “But we thought you wanted us to wax cars,” he sputtered as he
pushed her claw-like fingers away from him. “Did we actually say
that we wanted you to wax cars?” Honey inquired, poking Brian in the chest
with her index finger. “Nooo,” Brian drawled out slowly. “And didn’t you promise not to quit?” Trixie questioned,
releasing her almost-twin so she could give Jim a shove. “Yeeees,” Jim admitted a bit ruefully. “And do you want to tell the crowd that the fundraiser has been
canceled?” Honey asked, lowering her golden brown eyebrows as she glared at
Dan. “Noooo,” Dan answered, his tone resembling a whine. “And do you want to help the Red Cross earn thousands of
dollars?” Trixie slugged Mart in the arm. Mart merely looked at her, not saying a single word. With a loud grunt, Trixie punched her middle brother in the gut.
“Well?” “I’m thinking!” he howled, cowering away from the tiny whirlwind.
As she stalked closer to him, fist curled, he exclaimed frightfully, “I
forget what the question was!” Although Trixie was almost a foot shorter than Mart, somehow she
managed to look down at him. “The question is: Are you willing to sacrifice a
little body hair to raise a lot of money for a worthy cause?” “Yeah, I guess so,” he whispered in a barely audible voice. “But
do you have to wax my chest hair? Can’t you shave my head instead?” “Oh, relax!” Trixie muttered in exasperation. “Your twenty-six
chest hairs will grow back.” “Twenty-seven!” Mart amended loudly, his face growing a bright
shade of red. “Let the record show that, at last count, there was a grand
total of twenty-SEVEN fine, threadlike outgrowths from the epidermal
follicles located upon the front of the outside of my thorax cavity.” “Don’t worry, Blondie,” Trixie said with smirk. “You can keep
your piddling ‘outgrowths’. We’ve got other plans for you and the hairless
Irishman.” Dan swallowed loudly. “You do?” “We do,” Honey assured, a sweet smile on her face. “Well, it looks like Di’s ready for us,”
Trixie said. “If there’s no more discussion, I’ll announce that we’re ready
to start.” The boys watched forlornly as Trixie
walked up to the microphone standing in the middle of the gym floor. She
smiled as the excited crowd cheered and held up various signs. “Hey, everybody! Welcome to Sleepyside
Junior-Senior High’s ‘Rip-a-Strip for the Red Cross’ fundraiser!” she greeted
enthusiastically. “As you all know, we’ve been selling strips the past two
weeks. We’re going to cover our brave volunteers with body wax, place the
strips you’ve purchased on them, and rip them off for charity!” The boys grimaced as they listened to
the roaring crowd. While Trixie continued her speech to the audience, Jim,
Brian, Mart, and Dan began talking amongst themselves. “Should we make a break for it?” Dan
whispered. “I don’t know,” Brian muttered. “Do
you think we can escape without being caught?” Jim snorted. “Are you kidding? If we
leave, Trixie will hunt us down like scared rabbits. I think we’re safer
here.” “Easy for you to say,” Mart murmured.
“At least you know what part of your body is being waxed.” Dan paled as Mart’s words sunk in.
“You don’t think they’d do a Brazilian wax, do you?” “What’s that?” Brian asked. “You know,” Dan mumbled. “Where they
wax your…” He cleared his throat in a pointed manner as he looked down in the
general vicinity of his genital region. “Where they wax your what?” Brian prodded, his hands
gesturing for more information. “Your nads!” Mart shrieked in a frightened
voice. “They pour hot wax on your private parts and rip out your pubic hair
by the roots!” Brian yelped in pain as a visual image
passed through his mind. “We’re not getting Brazilian waxes,”
Jim said in an annoyed tone. “Mr. Stratton wouldn’t give the girls permission
to do that on school property.” Dan discreetly wiped a bead of sweat
from his forehead. “That’s good.” Mart loudly sighed in relief. “Thank
God for Mr. Stratton.” The boys looked up as Trixie concluded
her speech. “Before we begin, does anyone have any questions?” she asked. The lone male in the crowd raised his
hand. “So you’re not waxing cars?” “No,” Trixie answered. “We considered
having a traditional car wash, but we read about a bunch of guys in There were several sarcastic guffaws
from the boys at that comment, particularly after word “fun”. “Well, if you’re not going to wax my
car, I’m outta here,” the single male in the crowd said. “I still have time
to meet Casey for a game of Ultimate Frisbee. See ya.” He stood up and walked
down the bleachers. As he crossed the boys’ paths on his way to the exit, he
saluted them. “Any other questions?” Trixie
inquired. “What if you run out of hair and you
have more strips left?” a girl questioned. “Don’t worry,” Trixie said with a
grin. “We’ll make sure you get your money’s worth.” The boys exchanged a worried glance. “If there isn’t anything else, let the
festivities begin!” The bloodthirsty crowd cheered loudly as the boys trudged over to
the table where Di had set up her supplies. They sat down in the four seats
next to the table and waited for their torture to begin. The raven-haired beauty smiled at the
grim expressions her hesitant victims wore. “Cheer up, boys,” she greeted
cheerfully. “It’s only hair.” “Yes, but the roots of the
aforementioned hair are attached to sensitive skin,” Brian snapped. “Frankly,
I’m a little more concerned about the pain than my chest hair.” “Oh, it won’t be that bad. You’re just
building it up in your mind,” Di assured him. “Now, before we begin, I need
to go over a few things with you.” “What kinds of things?” Dan questioned
hesitantly. “Oh, just a few precautions,” Di
answered in an offhand manner. “If this involves a last will and
testament, I’m outta here, promise or no promise,” Mart muttered. “Don’t be silly. Nobody’s ever died
from waxing their body hair,” Di chided. After lowering her voice both in
volume and pitch, she added in an ominous tone, “That we know of, that is.” Trixie and Honey laughed uproariously,
greatly enjoying the spectacle the boys were making of themselves. With a
wink to her girlfriends, Di glanced at her list of precautions. “First of all, we need to make sure
that the hairs we’ll be waxing are at least one-fourth an inch long. If
they’re too short, they won’t become embedded in the wax.” Di walked over to
Brian and examined the thick patch of dark hair on his upper chest. “Okay, it
doesn’t appear that that will be a
problem.” Trixie’s snickers were rewarded by a
glare from her oldest brother. “Second, moisturizing will be a key to
your recovery,” Di went on. “After you get home, apply a skin nourishing
cream to the waxed area in order to replenish your skin’s natural balance, as
well as restore your skin’s elasticity. The vitamins in the moisturizer will
leave your skin satiny smooth.” “Oh, joy,” Mart mumbled under his
breath. “Satiny smooth skin. Just what I’ve always wanted.” “Third,” Di continued, with a roll of
her eyes in Mart’s general direction, “you’ll need to wax every six weeks to
keep the smooth look you’ll receive.” “Don’t count on it,” Dan mumbled. “What’re you complaining about?” Jim
stormed. “You and Mart don’t have much hair on your chests at all. You’ll be
finished in no time.” “Dude, be thankful she’s waxing your
chest,” Mart grumbled. “Dan and I may end up with a Brazilian.” “That brings me to my fourth point,”
Di said brightly. “Waxing can be done safely on eyebrows, mustaches, chins,
legs, arms, and bikini lines.” “There’s no way you’re giving me a
‘bikini line’!” Dan yelped. “That’s better than a Bohemian,” Brian
pointed out with a grin. “That’s ‘Brazilian’,” Mart corrected
briskly. “And if they think they’re getting anywhere near my nads with hot
wax, then they’re nuttier than a fruitcake.” “Relax, Mart,” Di assured him, a sweet
smile on her pretty face. “You can be severely burned while waxing. Since I’m
so inexperienced, it might not be a good idea to attempt something as
complicated as a Brazilian wax.” Mart gulped loudly. “I’m not sure if
your ‘inexperience’ is a good thing or a bad thing.” “Oh, quit being a baby!” Trixie
exclaimed wearily. “Buck up and take it like a real man.” “A ‘real man’ wouldn’t be waxing in
the first place,” Jim griped. “Oh, contraire, Jimmy-pooh,” Trixie
corrected with a haughty lift of her chin. “Olympic athletes wax their chests
and legs to reduce friction. It takes nanoseconds off their fastest times.” “We’re not Olympic athletes,” Jim shot
back testily, his bright green eyes sparking with indignation. Di merely smiled, much too busy with
her preparations to argue. She pulled out a tube from one of her cosmetic
cases, squeezed out some of the contents onto a cotton ball, and began
dabbing it onto Brian’s chest. “What’s that?” he asked, a single brow
arched in skepticism. “Topical steroid cream,” Di explained
as she moved over to Jim and began to apply the substance to his chest. “It
helps reduce the sting and irritation.”
“You missed a spot,” Jim said, wanting to make sure every sensitive
area of his chest was covered. Di obliged him by spreading a
good-sized amount of the analgesic cream to the area she’d be waxing. After
that was finished, she moved on to Mart. She pursed her lips thoughtfully as
she appraised his smooth chest. “Those twenty-six chest hairs aren’t
enough to wax,” she murmured thoughtfully as she pondered her options. “Twenty-seven,” Mart amended hotly. Suddenly, Diana’s violet eyes sparkled
as an idea came to her. “Hitch up the legs of your jeans,” she ordered. “Huh?” Mart hoped she wasn’t thinking
what he thought she was thinking… “Roll up your pant legs,” Di repeated
impatiently. “I’m going to wax your legs instead.” Mart’s nose wrinkled in disgust. “But girls wax their legs.” “Girls also don’t have chest hair,” Trixie goaded with a giggle, “so
that’s two things you have in common with the squaws.” Mart shot his almost-twin a murderous
glare before turning back to Diana. “You can’t be serious, Di.” “I’m only going to wax up to your
knee,” Di told him with a sympathetic smile. “It’ll grow back before you know
it.” “Well, sure, yours does, but mine will probably never grow back,” Mart
complained. “I’ll probably end up looking like some kind of freak.” “But don’t you normally look like a
freak?” Trixie asked, somehow managing to keep a straight face. She giggled
as her middle brother balled up his fist and shook it in a menacing manner. “Hold still,” Di ordered as she rubbed
the cream onto Mart’s leg. “Put it on thick,” Mart instructed
with a scowl. “Hey, save some of that cream for me!”
Dan exclaimed. “Mart’s hogging it all.” “I have another tube, Dan,” Di told
him. Finished with Mart, she knelt down in front of Dan in order to pull up
his pant leg. However, Dan preferred tighter, straight leg jeans that
wouldn’t roll up as easily as Mart’s relaxed-fit ones. “Darn,” Di muttered, brushing away an
ebony strand of hair from her eyes. “What?” Dan questioned. “Something
wrong?” “I can’t get to your leg,” Di
explained. “You could take his jeans off,” Honey
proposed brightly. Her voice carried through the gymnasium, and several of
the more boisterous girls loudly expressed their approval at the suggestion. “Well, it looks like I’m off the hook,
ladies.” With great satisfaction, Dan stretched his long legs out in front of
him and leaned back in the fold-up chair. He smiled smugly at his comrades as
he clasped his hands behind his head. “Sorry, dudes. I’ll say a prayer for
you.” Di’s amethyst-colored eyes gleamed as
a wicked grin tugged at the corners of her full lips. “We wouldn’t want you
to feel left out, Dan. After all, you’ve missed out on far too many of our
adventures.” “No worries, Di,” Dan promised
congenially. “I won’t harbor any hard feelings about skipping this.” “No, no, Dan. I’m sure I can think of
something.” Diana’s gaze locked upon the hair that was exposed under Dan’s
arms as he cradled the back of his head in the palms of his hand. “In fact, I
think I already have.” Dan traced the wicked gleam in Di’s
eyes to his own armpits. He slowly sat up and lowered his arms to his side.
“Why do you have that evil expression on your face?” “Because I’m thinking about waxing
your armpits,” Di replied sweetly. With a frantic scream, Dan locked his
arms down by his side. The girls raced to his chair, Trixie grabbing his left
arm, and Honey and Di double-teaming on his right one. After much exertion,
they managed to hoist his arms up in the air while Di applied some of the
cream under his pits. Once Dan had been properly creamed, Di
fluffed her hair and went over to the table to get the wax and muslin strips.
A few minutes before, Honey had placed the wax in the warmer (that mysterious
object on the edge of the table). To test the temperature, Di stuck a wooden
applicator into the can and stirred it. The substance on the applicator was
syrupy, perfect for the task at hand. She scooped up a bit of the warm,
melted wax, oil and rosin mixture onto a spatula and walked over to Brian.
“Are you ready?” “Ready as I’ll ever be,” he answered
with a loud, audible gulp. He closed his eyes tightly and braced himself. Acting quickly so the wax wouldn’t
cool, Di applied a thin layer of the mixture onto a small patch of hair on
Brian’s chest. Afterward, she firmly pressed a muslin cloth strip on top of
the wax while pulling the skin underneath taut. Before continuing, Di announced
sweetly, “This strip has been brought to you today by Terry.” Brian slowly opened his eyes, and
exhaled in relief. “That wasn’t so ba—” His sentence was left hanging as Di
rapidly peeled off the strip in the opposite direction of hair growth. An anguished scream echoed through the
gymnasium. “Oh my God!” he yelled, a permanent
wince engraved upon the lines of his battle-scarred face. Di proudly held up her trophy— a small
strip of fabric embedded with several dark hairs. “See, that wasn’t so bad.” With wide eyes, Mart appraised his
older brother’s well-being. “Dude, what did it feel like?” Brian stared straight ahead, the
memory almost too horrific for him to relive. “It… felt like… a billion Band…
Aids… being ripped from… badly burned skin,” he gasped weakly. Dan humbly lifted his onyx-colored
eyes heavenward. “Lord help us,” he prayed in a frightened tone. Jim shook his head disparagingly as Honey
applied some Aloe Vera gel to the newly smoothed skin on Brian’s chest.
“C’mon, Bri. It can’t be that bad,”
he said, only a mere trace of false bravado lingering in his voice. “Well,
I suppose you’ll be able to decide for yourself,” Di stated, hovering close
by with the wax. Trying to conceal a grin, she brushed the waxy applicator
against Jim’s supple chest. “Feels good,” he replied arrogantly.
“Nothing like hot wax to warm you up on these chilly afternoons. Actually,
it’s kind of relaxing.” “See, Jim,” murmured Di as she placed
a strip over the syrupy substance. “There was no reason to fuss. After this
is over, be sure to stop by and thank Misty for this smooth patch of skin.” Deftly, she yanked on the cloth,
pulling several ginger-colored hairs out by the roots. Jim’s normally deep-pitched voice went
up several decibels as a shrill, high-pitched shriek rattled the windows of
the gymnasium. His green eyes became clouded with tears as the tender area
throbbed with pain. Trixie quickly dabbed the Aloe onto his wound. In the next seat, Mart doubled over
with laughter. “Jim screamed like a little girl,” he chuckled. His chortles
came to an end as Di approached him, a menacing expression on her normally
pretty face. “It’s your turn, Mart,” she told him.
“Now be a good boy while I get you ready.” Mart whimpered as Di dipped the
spatula into the hot wax. The whimpers grew in intensity as Di bent over and
brushed the applicator against his leg. As she was pressing the non-woven
strip onto the wax, Mart asked in a frightened voice, “So, who do I have to
thank for this torture?” Di looked up at him and smiled benevolently.
“Aleta,” she answered before wrenching off the small piece of fabric. Mart howled with pain, his voice much
higher than Jim’s had been. “Are you sure you’re doing that right?” he
squeaked, a fat tear rolling down his tanned cheek. “Yes!” Di snapped indignantly, sparks
flying from her eyes. “Don’t treat me like I’m stupid, Mart!” “Dude, don’t make her mad,” Dan
begged. “It’s my turn, and I don’t want her to take out her frustrations on
my pits!” “Where’s my Aloe?” Mart asked with a
sniffle. “I’m getting there,” Honey soothed,
rubbing some of the cream onto the spot that was stinging. Tenuously raising one muscular arm,
Dan looked deep into Diana’s eyes. “Be gentle,” he pleaded. “Of course, Dan,” Di promised sweetly.
She took a quick peek at the list of purchasers. “Dani wouldn’t have it any
other way. By the way, she told me to tell you that you’re a hottie and that
she totally respects you as a person for giving up your body hair for
charity.” “Thanks,” Dan mumbled weakly as Diana
rubbed some of the wax onto his hairy armpits. “One,” Di counted, “two, three!” “Mary, sweet mother of God!” Dan cried
after the offending strip had been ripped off. “What did you do to me?!” “It’s just a little wax, Dan,” Di
replied congenially. “Just be careful when applying deodorant. And if a nasty
rash appears, you may want to see your family physician.” Dan doubled over, great sobs making
his broad shoulders heave. As Trixie attended to his painful area, Di walked
back over to Brian. “Looks like we’re back to you, Brian,”
she announced brightly. “No!” Brian pitifully beseeched,
placing his hands over his chest to protect himself. “Please don’t do it!
Please! I’ll just die if you do it again!” “Now, Brian, you’re going to
eventually die anyway,” Di reassured him in a cheerful voice. “But I don’t want it to be now,” he
sobbed. “I have to do it, or Vivian will be
very disappointed,” Di scolded gently. “She purchased this strip, so I have
to use it.” “She won’t mind,” Brian cried. “Will
you, Viv?” The crowd exclaimed their response by
a loud chorus of, “Pull it! Pull it! Pull it!” “The masses have spoken,” Di said,
applying a thin layer of the wax to Brian’s chest. After placing the muslin
strip on top, she gave it a hearty yank and dislodged several more chest
hairs. “Moooommeeeee!” Brian wailed. Leaving Brian to be ministered to by
Honey, Diana turned to Jim. However, the stubborn redhead had set his jaw
determinedly and placed his freckled hands firmly over his chest. Di held the applicator up. “Move your
hands, Jim.” “No,” he stated obstinately, squaring
his shoulders in defiance. “I’m not kidding, Jim,” Di told him
sharply. “We’re on a schedule here.” “I’m not kidding, either,” Jim
growled, clamping his hands in position. “It didn’t have to be this way, Red.”
Di shook her head sadly, and then snapped her fingers. “Ladies, I need some
assistance here.” Obediently, Trixie and Honey scurried to her side, long
feather-tipped sticks grasped in their hands. Jim’s forehead creased as he stared at
them in consternation. “What’re those sticks for?” Di tittered in amusement. “Don’t
worry, Jim. We’re not going to beat you.” After a labored pause, she leaned
down and whispered in his ear, “We’re going to use them to tickle you.” “Tickle me?” Jim repeated with an
incredulous snort. “What good will that do?” Immediately, Trixie and Honey took
their pointers and eased them underneath Jim’s armpits. “That’s not fair,” Jim managed between
chuckles. Though he tried to resist the tickling sensation under his arms, it
was impossible. By sheer reflex, he lifted his hands from his chest to dodge
their prodding. Once the barricades were removed, Di swiftly globbed some wax
onto the hairiest part of his chest and placed three strips onto the warm,
gooey substance. “Hey!” Jim protested. “I was
distracted!” “Sorry, Charlie. These are for
Cathyoma, Mary, and Claire!” Di squealed in delight. With a triumphant smile,
she ripped off the three strips. As she turned on her heel to move to
the next victim, Jim grabbed her arm. “You forgot the Aloe Vera,” he gasped,
his handsome face wrenched in pain. “No Aloe Vera for you!” Di barked.
“Next time, don’t be so difficult!” Tears began falling in earnest from
Jim’s green eyes as all hope of relief vanished. Mart’s eyes darted back and forth in
terror as Di approached him, hot, molten wax in hand. “Diana Lynch, have I
ever expounded upon your great pulchritude, and how I am unworthy to bask in
your lithesome presence?” Di patted Mart’s arm in a patronizing
manner. “Flattery will get you nowhere. Now hold still before I drip hot wax
on a place you’d rather not have hot wax dripped.” Mart fearfully obeyed, making sure to
hold his leg very still while Di applied a thin layer of wax to the area just
below his knee. “Who’s that strip for?” Mart asked
nervously. “Julie,” Di answered as she placed the
muslin fabric onto the wax and pulled with all her might. After wiping away a
bead of sweat from her flushed forehead, Di motioned for Honey to apply some
Aloe Vera gel to Mart’s tender skin. With a wicked grin, Di held up a strip
for Dan to see. “Danny boy, I’ve got something for you from Pat K!”
One loooong hour later… “And this is for Pat and Steph H!” Jim’s penetrating wails reverberated through the small gymnasium
of “NO! I can’t take any more!” he
lamented loudly. “Get yourself together, man!” Di
ordered, lightly slapping him across the face. “Trixie, apply the Aloe Vera.” Trixie happily complied with her
ebony-haired friend’s request as Di moved on to Mart. “Aren’t we finished yet?” Mart
blubbered through falling tears. “Almost,” Di answered, spackling on
enough wax for two strips. She then laid two non-woven strips over the sticky
substance. “No more, no more!” Mart screamed hysterically. “Take my
twenty-six chest hairs, but just leave my leg alone!” Di looked up at him, her hand poised
above the muslin fabric. “I thought you had twenty-seven?” “I lied,” Mart admitted, with a catch
in his throat. “But take those twenty-six that I do have as a peace-offering,
and just go away!” With a disapproving shake of her head,
Di ripped off the strips. “That was for Patte and Ruth!” Honey patted Mart’s arm
sympathetically as she applied some Aloe Vera to his stinging leg. Di walked over to Dan, who was shaking
his arms in the air in front of him. Since he didn’t acknowledge her
presence, she waved a manicured hand in front of his glazed over eyes, but he
didn’t appear to be aware of his surroundings. She waved once more while
whispering his name. Still, he didn’t respond. She slugged his arm, and leaned down
next to his ear. “Dan!” “The ants! The ants!” he bellowed,
still gesturing wildly. “The ants are eating me! Get them away from me!” “Dan, I’m going to put some of this
wax under your arm!” Di told him loudly, carefully enunciating each word. “Get these man-eating ants away from
me!” Dan yelled, still swatting at the imaginary insects. “You’re hallucinating, Dan!” Still, there was no lucid response. Di quickly placed hot wax and two
fabric strips under Dan’s right arm. “Complements of Ronda and Charly,” she
said with a swift yank. “The ants are eating my arms!” Dan
cried despondently. Di
looked worriedly at Trixie and Honey. “I’m sure he’ll snap out of it
soon.” She went back to the beginning
of the line and examined Brian’s almost-bare chest. Brian wearily lifted his chin, his
face appearing quite bedraggled. “Water,” he weakly rasped as he clutched her
hand desperately. “I need water.” Diana nodded to Honey, who scurried
over to Brian’s side with a canteen full of cold water. Honey lovingly
brushed back a wavy lock of his hair as she held the water up to his lips and
let him drink. “It’s almost over now, Brian,” she
murmured softly, dabbing his hot forehead with a cool cloth. Brian looked up at her thankfully, too
weak to verbalize his feelings. Di took advantage of his inability to
move and spread some wax onto his chest. “Send your thank you notes to Dana
and Deanna,” she said with a swift yank in the opposite direction of his hair
growth. Brian somehow managed to find the
strength to emit a guttural moan. “It’s not my turn yet, is it?” Jim
questioned, his body trembling in fear as Di walked over to him. “Unfortunately, it is,” Di said. “If
you’re a good little boy and don’t fight, this will be over before you know
it.” Jim hung his head mournfully. “Go
ahead. I lost all feeling in my chest area a half hour ago.” Di laughed as she rubbed some of the
wax onto him. “Don’t worry. I’m sure your feeling will come back really
soon.” She looked out into the crowd and announced, “Here are your strips,
Beth Ann and Kaye!” Jim
screeched in pain as Di pulled several hairs out by their sensitive roots. “See? I told you your feeling would
come back,” Di said with a giggle.
Another half hour and many wax strips
later… Exhausted from their torments, the
boys slumped over in their chairs, praying that the world would come to an
end before the next round began. “Di, there’s only a little bit of wax
left,” Honey said. “Should we send someone to the drugstore for more?” “We only have one strip left to
redeem,” Di answered. “Trixie, look at the list and see who it’s for.” Trixie searched the list. “Looks like
the last strip is for Jim.” Di twirled a silky strand of hair as
she studied Jim. “I don’t think he has any hair left on his chest. What
should we do?” “Maybe we could wax his leg?” Trixie
suggested. Honey shook her head. “No, it would be
mean just to wax one strip of leg hair. He’d look kind of funny.” The three girls were silent as they
mulled over the possibilities. Suddenly, an impish smile tugged at the
corners of Diana’s mouth. “I have an idea…” Honey followed Di’s gaze to a certain
thatch of hair. “That’ll work!” Trixie’s chin trembled as her eyes
traveled to the spot that held Di and Honey’s attention. “Not the treasure
trail,” she pleaded. “Anything but that.” “Sorry, Trix, but that’s the last
strip of hair on his stomach,” Di said consolingly. “It’ll grow back.” Trixie exhaled deeply, inwardly
admitting her defeat. “Okay, but let me do it.” Her friends quickly agreed, and Trixie
walked over to the line of chairs where the boys sat. “We have one strip left,” she
announced cheerfully. She held up the thin sheet of muslin and waved it in a
taunting manner. The boys exchanged worried looks. Each
of them glanced at the strip, and then back to each other. “Who’s it for?” Mart asked nervously,
hoping it wasn’t him. Trixie approached Dan, and after a
pregnant pause, moved closer to her almost-twin. After cackling evilly, she
passed Jim and stood in front of Brian. Just as Brian began to whimper, she
turned on her heel and moved back to Jim. “James Winthrop Frayne the Second, the
bell tolls for thee,” she announced in an ominous voice. Three loud sighs of relief were
emitted from Brian, Mart, and Dan. “Sorry, man,” Brian said
sympathetically. “Be strong, Frayne,” Mart instructed
with a shake of his fist. Dan snorted at his two comrades.
“Better you than me, dude.” Jim shivered as Trixie dipped the
spatula in the hot wax. “But I don’t have any hair left on my chest!” he
interjected. “You have a little,” Trixie told him
quietly. Her china blue gaze traveled downward to the ginger patch of hair
leading into Jim’s low-rise jeans. Panicked, Jim looked down. Once he
laid eyes on his treasure trail, he yelled, “Not that!” “Trust me, Jim,” Trixie said as she
leaned closer to him, “this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.” “Don’t count on it,” Jim mumbled.
“Let’s get this over with.” Trixie chewed on her lower lip
nervously as she appraised the situation. “Uh, Jim, do you think you could
stand up? I don’t think I can get to your treas… uh, the hair down there if
you’re sitting down.” Jim grumbled a few indiscernible words
under his breath, but agreed to the sandy blonde’s request. Thankfully for
Trixie, in his annoyed state, he missed her appreciative glances at his
now-bare, supple chest. Her cheeks blazing a bright red,
Trixie bent down and carefully applied some hot wax to Jim’s lower abdomen.
She carefully avoided Honey’s teasing gaze as her best friend handed her a
strip of muslin. With a trembling hand, she pressed the thin piece of fabric onto
the wax. Desperately hoping Jim couldn’t hear the loud thumping of her
beating heart, she placed her sweaty palm over the cloth strip and stroked
the muslin downward while she pulled the firm skin of his abdomen taut. Reminding herself that this wasn’t
supposed to be so pleasurable, she sighed inwardly, and then looked up at
Jim. “Are you ready?” Jim’s Adam apple bobbled as he gulped
loudly. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” Trixie reached over and squeezed Jim’s
hand in encouragement. “This last strip is for Cathy P. One, two, three!” RIP!!! Jim closed his eyes and held his
breath as the thatch of hair on his lower abdomen was caught in the sticky
wax and pulled out by the root. He slowly exhaled, releasing all the pain. “Is it over?” he murmured, almost afraid
to open his eyes. “It’s over,” Trixie said with a shy
smile. She grabbed the tube of Aloe Vera gel and carefully applied some to
the tender area. “Thank God,” Jim prayed as he finally
opened his eyes.
Later, at the Manor House… Four extremely tired, very sore, and
slightly hairless young men lay on the floor of the Manor House recreation
room. They moaned occasionally as they moved to readjust the ice packs that
helped to make their pain bearable. Celia brought four cold cans of soda
to them. “How’s the ice?” “Another dump truck load more or so
should take care of it,” Jim mumbled. He cringed as he raised himself high
enough to prop himself on his elbow and drink his soda. “Thanks, Celia.” “No problem,” she replied, suppressing
a giggle as she heard Brian, Mart, and Dan moan as they sat up. After Celia left the room, Jim held
his can of pop up in a toast position. “Here’s to the Red Cross.” “Here’s to Aloe Vera gel and
moisturizer,” Brian added, raising his own can. “Here’s to that residue remover junk
that got the rest of that wax crap off of my armpits.” Dan placed his can
next to Jim’s and Brian’s. “And here’s to never having our bodies waxed, ever again,” Mart piped up, placing his drink next to theirs. “A-men, brother,” Jim, Brian, and Dan
murmured as they all clinked their drinks together in a heartfelt toast. After taking a long swig, the four comrades lay back down and
closed their eyes, each thanking God that they had survived that sticky
situation. They may have lost a lot of hair, but thankfully, they had their
dignity. Well, at least most of it.
Thank you again to all those who contributed money for this
auction. I hope you enjoyed your story! I feel I must give a special thank you to the brave men from the A very special thank you to my Graphics Fairy. As requested, your
name is withheld, but I wouldn’t feel right if people thought I designed
these gorgeous pics. You are a Bob-White, through and through. {{{HUGS}}} Thank you to my amazing editors, Steph, KathyW, and Kaye. Each of
you notices seemingly small details that help to make my story better. And a
special thank you should go to Steph, who edited this a day before her second
son, Jason Daniel, was born. I love you, Steph, and I love you, J.J.! Thank you to the moderators who helped me decide who had the most
hair, and who had the least. Also, thanks for sharing your gruesome waxing
experiences. When I started this story, one obstacle I faced was getting the
boys to agree to participate in this project. However, that problem was
solved by the beautiful Mary, who suggested that maybe the boys were misled
about what was going to be waxed. Thank you, Mary! The idea of Mart having 26 hairs, which he counted every night
came from the perfectly perfect Anna. Thanks, Anna! A very special thank you to my cheerleaders, Ruth, Cathyoma, Pat
AKA Amygirl, Terry, and several others. Without your encouragement, I don’t
think I would’ve ever finished this story. Words can’t express how grateful I
am for your support. {{{HUGS}}} Rogaine is a product which supposedly promotes hair growth. I know a man whose wife bought it for him
for Valentine’s Day (and no, it wasn’t Damon. I would NEVER do that). I’m not
particularly fond of that man, but I can’t help but feel sorry for him. No
worries though. It hasn’t affected that man’s pride any. J Advil is a product you can buy for pain relief. The sites I
visited during my waxing research all recommended Ibuprofen products to
alleviate the pain. This product was used without permission, but hey, it’s
free advertising so they shouldn’t bellyache too much. Turtle Wax is a product used to wax cars. Don’t use it to wax
your legs. I couldn’t resist giving our lone male Jixster a cameo at The
Cameo. Did you recognize him? *G* The tips Di gave in this story for a better waxing experience are
all true and were found on the sites I found. My advice? Stick with the razor. One of my editors asked about the use of both muslin and
non-woven strips. The answer is: Both are used for waxing and are basically
the same thing. Aloe Vera is a substance used for soothing burns, cuts, and other
injuries, and it was recommended to put this on freshly waxed skin. I hope those who participated in this auction enjoyed their
cameos at The Cameo. And hey, I had to leave that special last strip for the
Queen of Fanfic and perhaps the biggest Jim-fan of us all, CathyP. I hope you enjoyed Jim’s treasure trail, my
friend. *wink* And last, but certainly not least, be sure to look at the blooper reel for the outtakes from this
story.
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