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Why Do Fools Fall in Love?
Part Three
Last
time we visited the Glimpses
into the Future Universe,
we met Jim’s utterly annoying girlfriend, Amanda, who Mart distracted so
Trixie and Jim could share a moment alone. Unfortunately, our fools didn’t
bear their souls, and parted with heavy hearts as the dance ended. Our story
picks up with Jim, who finally opens up and shares his deepest secrets with
us… After his dance with Trixie ended, Jim
watched as she hurried back to the table where they had been sitting. Sighing
deeply, he glanced around the room for Amanda. Satisfied that she was dancing
with Brian, Jim slipped out of the ballroom and crept upstairs to his study.
He needed a moment to think. After
locking the door behind him, Jim collapsed onto the leather sofa and assumed
the crash position. When had life become so difficult? He thought back to the
carefree days he’d enjoyed after moving to Sleepyside. Trips to exciting
places, swimming in the lake, mysteries always popping up, dinner at Wimpy’s,
childish pranks…
Why did it all have to change? He
feared change. Most of the transitions in his life hadn’t been good ones.
After the death of his father, Jim’s once-perfect life had begun to fall
apart. His mother had married a man he despised, and who despised him as
well. When Katje died, Jonesy blamed Jim for her death. When his mother’s
lifeless body was still warm, his stepfather had begun beating him. He’d
suffered with Jonesy as long as he could bear, but had finally run away to
find his Uncle James. Once
Jim had reached Sleepyside, he discovered Ten Acres in a shambles. Uncle James,
he later found out, was a patient in the Eventually,
he’d been adopted by Matthew Wheeler, who had been a college friend of his
father’s. Jim never told a single soul, but for a long time after his
adoption, he had lain in bed worrying that the Wheelers would change their
minds and send him back to Jonesy. He had nightmares about the “welcome”
Jonesy would give him upon his return to the truck farm in When
Jim first had met Trixie and Honey, he acted tough about the beatings he’d
suffered at the hands of his cruel stepfather. However, the repeated abuse
had affected him far more than he admitted even to himself. The beatings left
scars on his body; the mental abuse left scars on his soul. He
had what psychologists would call “issues”. He secretly battled fears of
abandonment, as well as an inferiority complex caused by Jonesy’s numerous
malicious insults. In the dark night, the taunting demons would surface, and
Jim would hear his stepfather’s voice… “You no-good, brat! You’ll never amount to
nuthin… Yer so stupid and worthless! It’s yer fault yer ma died! If you
hadn’t upset her, she woulda been fine!... Yer nuthin’ but a redheaded
step-kid! I don’t love you, and nobody else is ever gonna love you, neither!..Yer ma’s dead, Jimmy … Now who do you got,
little prince? Yer nuthin’ but a crown prince with no loyal subjects. You’ve
got no one, Jimmy, no one… But those weren’t anything compared to Jonesy’s favorite
taunt. Yer ma
didn’t love you, Jimmy. She wanted rid of you so bad that she died just to
get away from you. Jim had always suspected as much, so
that particular dig hurt especially bad. Though
Jim lived with Jonesy’s taunts and torments for only a few years, they had
left a lasting imprint on his soul. Even after he arrived at the Wheelers’,
he had horrible memories that he couldn’t erase from his mind. Vivid nightmares recalling his previous
physical abuse plagued his sleep. Certain words or phrases could induce a
flashback. However, throughout it all, Jim
suffered silently. He
was on his best behavior after he moved into the Manor House. He feared if he
made his new parents angry or if he disappointed them in any way, Matthew or
Madeleine would take him back to George Rainsford and have the adoption
annulled. The other Bob-Whites often joked about Jim being “so honorable he
was boring”, but some of his cautious nature could be attributed to his fear
of abandonment. If he wasn’t good enough, nobody would love him. Though Matthew and Madeleine were both kind
to him, it took Jim a long while before he was able to trust them. Any time
his new father called Jim into his study, Jim readied himself for a torrent
of insults. Whenever Matthew reached towards his belt, Jim broke out in a
cold sweat, remembering his numerous beatings at the hands of his cruel
stepfather. Eventually,
Jim became close to Matthew. Unbeknownst to Jim, he was actually a good
influence on the wealthy tycoon. Jim’s presence took Matthew back to a time
when money and power weren’t the
most important things in his life, back to a time when he received similar
lectures from Jim’s father. Jim often talked about Win and the things they
did together. After hearing several of these stories, Matthew took inventory
of his own life, and saw how pathetic a father he truly was. He’d determined
in his heart to be the kind of father his friend was. Maybe someday Honey and
Jim would talk about him with that
same adoring look that Jim had when he spoke of Win. Madeleine
Wheeler was an entirely different species, altogether. Madeleine didn’t frighten him, but his
adoptive mother was an enigma to Jim. Madeleine Wheeler was totally unlike
his birth mother and all the other women he knew, for that matter. Katje
Frayne was the type of woman who had milk and cookies waiting for Jim when he
got home from school. She sat down with him and asked to hear about his day.
She scheduled her entire life around the needs of her only child, and even
when she couldn’t be there, Jim always felt loved and cherished. When they first met, Jim couldn’t help but
think that Madeleine only agreed to adopt him after being pressured to do so
by her husband. After he moved in with the Wheelers, Jim couldn’t believe how
much of the actual “mothering” came from their governess, rather than
Madeleine. Madeleine often accompanied
Matthew on business trips around the world. When
Madeleine was in Sleepyside, she was too busy planning social events for the
Manor House to become involved in her children’s lives. Too busy to check on
Honey in the middle of the night after one of her dreams. Too busy to find
out if anything was bothering Jim. Too busy to ask what they were doing or if
they needed to talk about anything… Too
busy… too busy. For
the first few weeks, Jim wondered if his new mother actually cared for him,
or if he was just another worthy charity to which she could contribute.
Eventually, not only did she reach out to Jim, she also reconciled with her
daughter. Though she couldn’t make up for all the lost years, she made an
effort to change the present. With time, she built a solid relationship with
both her children, which she treasured dearly. It
actually hadn’t been hard to call Madeleine “mother”. Jim had developed a
soft spot for the heiress. It was a lot more difficult to call Matthew “dad”.
After nearly a month with the Wheelers, Jim felt comfortable enough to bestow
the term on the man who’d adopted him. Sometimes the familiar terms stabbed
his heart, as he remembered his own parents. A twinge of sadness flooded his
soul as he remembered a father who doted upon his only child and a mother who
lived her life trying to make her son feel loved. But he knew that Win and
Katie were gone; Matthew and Madeleine were his parents now, and he loved and
respected them accordingly. Outwardly,
Jim quite comfortably assumed the role of a millionaire’s son; however,
inwardly, he faced many demons. During his few years he’d lived in every
gamut of life. Win and Katie had been a middle-class family. After his
father’s death, Jim and his mother had been lived in poverty until her
marriage to Jonesy. Then, Jim hit rock bottom when he was on his own. He was
completely destitute, but he’d taken a certain pride in providing for
himself. Strangely
enough, Jim found it easier to adjust to poverty than wealth. He certainly didn’t complain, but with all
the changes, he found it difficult to feel comfortable in his own skin. And
after his tumultuous life, Jim longed to feel comfortable. Comfortable was
a sweet feeling that he associated with his happier days in Rochester with
his biological mother and father. As a
boy, he never realized how precious it truly was to be at ease with yourself
and all those around you. With Win and Katie, he never had to wonder if he
was loved, and he never had to worry that he would be alone. He was comfortable,
content, and secure. After his father’s death and his mother’s remarriage,
those feeling were replaced with fear, insecurity, and anxiety. When Jim
moved in with the Wheelers, he felt pressured to assume the position of a
millionaire’s son, and he often yearned for the privilege of feeling comfortable in his own skin. The only bright spot during his difficult
adjustment was from a curly-headed blonde neighbor girl. Her obvious
admiration of him gave Jim back some of the confidence he’d lost during his
time with Jonesy. Her selfless manner made him feel that for the first time
in a long time, he mattered to
someone. There
was just something about Trixie Belden that made Jim feel safe and secure,
even comfortable. Freud may’ve said
it was because Trixie reminded him of his mother when father was still alive,
but it was more than that. When he was around Trixie, Jim could almost
imagine that he was back in It was a beautiful spring morning.
There had been a horrible storm earlier in the week, so on Saturday the whole
family was pitching in to clean up the debris from the storm. He and Dad were
outside picking up fallen branches. Later on, they needed to repair a piece
of fence that had been damaged by a tree limb. They heard Mom in the laundry
room and knew soon she would join them outside. Dad motioned for Jim to be
quiet. He hid out of view from the door leading from the laundry room to the
outside. Jim stifled a laugh as he saw his mother’s blonde head appear at the
door. He knew exactly what his father was planning. Katie came outside and looked
around. “Win! Where are y—” Suddenly, Dad grabbed Mom from behind and
gathered her up in his arms. He swung her around as one would a small child.
“Put me down this instant, Jim knew she was only teasing. Mom
loved Dad’s tricks almost as much as Dad did.
He watched as his father grabbed in mother again, this time lifting
her up for a kiss. “It’s your fault,” Win said,
feigning innocence. “If you weren’t so darned cute when you get mad, I
wouldn’t be tempted!” “I’ll show you cute, Mr. Frayne!”
Mom started tickling him under the arms. Her skinny little fingers could
weasel their way into all of Dad’s ticklish spots. Soon they were both
laughing until tears were running down their cheeks, Mom with her soft,
tinkling giggle and Dad with his rich, baritone chuckle. Jim grinned, thoroughly enjoying
the sight of his parents playing. “All right, you two. Knock it off. While
you two are fooling around, your favorite son is doing all the work!” Win gave Jim a mock salute. “Yes,
sir!” Before he left to finish his work, he leaned over to his wife, wiggled
his ginger eyebrows, and whispered, “We’ll finish our ‘fooling around’
later.” He was rewarded with another
giggle and a firm slap to his backside. “Jim, my boy, let this be a lesson
to you,” his father said, patting him on the back. “When the time comes for
you to find a special girl, find you one with spunk. Because if you get one
with a little spirit, I can assure you that life will never be boring.” Jim remembered his father’s
words the very instant a certain spitfire scolded him about “trespassing” on
Ten Acres. At that first meeting, Jim knew his life would never be the same
again. He admired Trixie for not so
much as flinching when he pulled the gun on her and Honey. That flash in her
blue eyes when she rebuked him reminded him so much of his mother when she
and his father were in the middle of one of their few arguments. When Trixie and Honey were
arguing over who would adopt him, Jim prayed the Wheelers would win. He knew,
from the very first instant they met, that the affection he felt for Trixie
was not brotherly. The first time his brilliant green eyes locked with her
china blue ones, he knew he’d met his soul mate. Once again, though outwardly confident, Jim
struggled with how best to express his feelings to Trixie. He tried to
pretend his special feelings for her didn’t exist, but the more time he spent
with her, the more positive he became that this was more than a crush. By
Thanksgiving that first year, he was sure that he was in love with Trixie
Belden. Jim’s first Thanksgiving in
Sleepyside was certainly memorable. A storm had damaged the clubhouse roof, and
Brian donated the money he’d set aside for a car to purchase the supplies
needed to repair it. Trixie had given Aunt Nell’s engagement ring to Mr.
Lytell as collateral, so he wouldn’t sell the car to anyone else. Trixie and
Honey had earned the money as gamekeepers so they could repay Brian and he
could purchase his jalopy. By the time the blizzard hit at the
end of Thanksgiving break, the clubhouse was safe and snug, Brian had the
money for his jalopy, and Trixie got her ring back. Ben, the Wheelers’ nephew, was visiting and
he and the Bob-Whites were going sledding at the Manor House. Trixie explained how Brian was on
his way to pick up his jalopy from Mr. Lytell and how thankful he was.
Suddenly she turned to Jim. “Brian keeps on thanking me because Mr. Lytell
didn’t sell the car to a secondhand dealer, but he really should thank you.
If it hadn’t been for that ring you gave me, Jim—” “What’s all this about a ring?” Ben
interrupted. “It sounds as though you were engaged or something.” Trixie sniffed. “If Jim were the
last man on earth, I wouldn’t marry him.” “Is that so?” Jim gave her a gentle
push, and Trixie found herself sitting in the snow bank with Di. “Do you think I’d get myself
engaged to anybody as dumb as that?” Jim asked Ben. “No,” Ben admitted. “But why did
you give her a ring? I wouldn’t even give her a ring on the phone.” Jim relented then and helped Trixie
to her feet. “On you,” he said, “snow looks good. You should wear it more
frequently. Especially on your eyelashes. Much more becoming that mascara.” In spite of all his joking, Jim had
to swallow the lump in his throat at the mention of giving Trixie a ring.
Deep inside, he knew someday he would give her a ring, and he would pray she
wouldn’t toss it back in his face. After that Thanksgiving, Jim
decided he needed to be a bit more obvious about his feelings toward Trixie.
Her “yen for Ben”, though pretend, had disturbed him more than he liked to
admit. He intended on making it clear to her that she was his special
girl. Jim remembered the
conversation he had with his father the day of his death… “Jim, my boy, let this be a lesson to you,”
his father said, patting him on the back. “When the time comes for you to
find a special girl, find you one with spunk. Because if you get one with a
little spirit, I can assure you that life will never be boring.” “What if the girl I like doesn’t
like me back?” Jim asked. “Then, my boy, you need to woo her.
All special girls need wooing.” Jim scrunched up his nose. “What’s
that? Sounds kinda gross?” “Well, you woo a girl by sending
fond glances her way. Just look at her like you think she’s the most special
girl in the entire world. And be her knight in shining armor. Help her out if
she gets in trouble. And if you really think she’s special, give her
flowers.” “What kind of flowers?” Jim said, committing his father’s advice to
memory. “Well, different girls like
different kinds of flowers. Mostly, men give their girlfriends or wives roses
or carnations. But between you and me,
Jim, I think a special girl deserves a special
flower. I always liked to send your mother orchids. While Amy and Rhonda
and all her other friends were receiving identical bouquets of red roses,
your mom was the only one with a large vase of white orchids.” “Did it work?” Win gave a hearty laugh. “Well, it
must have! She married me!” “What do you do after the fond
glances, rescuing, and orchids?” Win studied his son. “I thought you
felt this stuff was ‘kinda gross’?” Jim shrugged his shoulders and gave
his dad a lopsided grin. “I gotta learn it sometime.” Win chuckled and said, “I’ll tell
you more when you get older. I don’t want you married off too soon.” Jim suddenly looked quite serious.
“When I do find a special girl, she’s gonna be just like Mom.” “That’s a keen idea, son.” Win
hugged his son. “Now we better get back to this work before your mom skins
us!” Since he had come to Sleepyside, Jim had given
Trixie many fond glances. After the “yen for Ben” incident, he decided to
move on to step two of his father’s advice. A Valentine’s party at Diana’s
house provided the perfect opportunity… Jim biked to the florist’s shop in
Sleepyside. He nervously swung open the door and jumped as the bell jingled,
announcing his arrival. A kindly, elderly lady looked up
from the romance story she was reading. “May I help you, son?” she inquired. Jim clenched his fists trying to
quench his nerves. “Yes, I need a corsage for Valentine’s Day,” he stated in
his most authoritative voice. “What a thoughtful young man you
are!” the lady replied. “Will this be for your mother?” Jim shuffled his feet nervously.
“No,” he answered. “It’s for a… friend.” The lady smiled knowingly and put
down her romance novel and picked up her pad that she used to fill out
orders. “A very special friend, I assume?” Jim nodded, silently beseeching the
Lord to either deliver him from this snoopy lady or have the floor open up
and swallow him. Although the lady was quite
curious, she wisely decided to forego any further questions. “I’m assuming
you want red or pink carnations…” “No!” Jim interrupted. “I wanted to
get something a little bit more special, like…” “Roses!” the lady exclaimed,
pulling some lovely sweetheart roses out of the refrigerator by the counter.
“Red roses would be absolutely perfect for Valentine’s Day!” “Actually, I wanted orchids,” Jim
corrected, shoving his hands in his pockets. “White orchids, if you have
them.” The lady looked at Jim with a
shocked expression on her wrinkled face. She adjusted the glasses on her nose
as if that would improve her hearing. “White orchids? Son, they’re very
expensive, especially this time of the year. Maybe you should reconsider. We
have some lovely pink roses if you don’t like the red ones…” Jim shook his head. “No, it has to
be white orchids. Do you have them, or should I go someplace else?” “We have them, but I’m not sure you
can afford them. Do you have enough money, son?” It seemed as if the lady
expected Jim to dump the contents of his piggy bank on the counter. Jim pulled out his leather wallet.
“I’m sure I have enough to cover the corsage. If I don’t, I’m sure my father,
Matthew Wheeler, would be happy to cover the difference.” The lady dropped her order pad.
Instantly, she recognized the name of Sleepyside’s richest citizen. If his son wanted orchids,
she supposed he could afford them. “What’s the delivery address?” she asked,
picking up her order form again. “Trixie Belden on Glen Road,” Jim
told her. The florist smiled and wrote that
down on her pad. “Yes, I know that address. Although, usually we’re
delivering flowers to Helen Belden instead of Trixie. And when do you want
the corsage to be delivered?” “Friday,” Jim answered. “Could you
deliver it in the late afternoon?” The lady nodded. “If you’d like to
fill out a card to send with the corsage, they’re right here.” She pointed to
the stack of cards and matching envelopes on the counter. Jim picked one up, thought for a
moment, and scribbled something on the card.
“Dear Trixie, I really think you’re swell. Could you save a dance for
me? Love, Jim” After reading what he had written,
Jim sighed and crumpled up the card. Sounds like something Wally Cleaver would write,
he thought in disgust. Picking up another card, he wrote,
“Yo, Trix! Since I shelled out all the money for this flower, the least you
could do is save me a dance or two. Jim.” After reading it, Jim groaned
silently and tore it in two. Sounds too Neanderthal, he decided. Ignoring
the amused expression on the florist’s face, he picked up another card and
carefully chose the words to write. With a trembling hand, he penned, “Dear
Schoolgirl Shamus: Is this your first orchid? I hope so. See you tonight.
Jim” Deciding that was as good as it was
going to get, he nervously put the card in the envelope, wrote “Trixie” on
it, and sealed it. After paying for his purchase, he practically ran out of
the flower shop and furiously pedaled home, hoping to calm his nerves and get
far away from the snoopy lady. As long as he lived, Jim would
never forget the vision Trixie created the night of the Valentine’s party.
She was wearing a white knit dress with a Peter Pan collar, and lo and
behold, nylons and high heels! He grimaced a moment at the shade of the
shoes, but decided he liked them after he noticed how shapely they made
Trixie’s legs look. Jim swallowed nervously, trying to think of something
clever to this lovely creature. “Hi, Cinderella!” he replied. He
desperately hoped Trixie couldn’t hear his pounding heart. He stepped closer
and caught a whiff of perfume. The scent made his heart flutter even more,
and he was overcome with the desire to whisk Trixie off to the dance floor
and bury his head in her shoulder to smell it even better. “Some dress!” he
continued. “You smell wonderful, too.” “It’s Moms’ perfume,” Trixie
grinned. “The orchid is super, Jim. Thanks!” “Trade it for a dance,” Jim said,
watching Trixie walk away to her join her friends. He sighed as he watched
her practically float away. Later that evening, as they danced,
Jim decided holding Trixie was a little bit of heaven on earth. When the
refreshments were ready, he and Trixie took plates of food to the seat in
front of the window. The light of the full moon etched shadows of the bare
trees on glistening snow. There were millions of stars twinkling in the sky,
but Jim thought he would rather gaze in Trixie’s eyes any day. Jim nervously scanned the room for
a glimpse of Trixie’s brothers. Mart was making his third trip to the
refreshment table, and Brian was dancing with Honey. Jim looked at Trixie.
She’d finished her hamburger and laid her head against the couch, a dreamy
expression on her face. Jim gathered his courage, licked his lips, and moved
in closer for a kiss. However, before he could, Trixie
suddenly jerked her head to awareness. “That light,” she whispered to Jim.
“It’s Regan with a lantern. He’s running toward the clubhouse.” So, Jim’s attempt at a first kiss
was halted. In the end, Trixie got her man, but Jim didn’t get his kiss. He
would’ve preferred the kiss. Finally, spring came, and the
Bob-Whites headed to Iowa for a trip to Andrew Belden’s sheep farm in Happy
Valley. Jim determined that this would be the perfect opportunity to
tell Trixie how much she meant to him. While in It wasn’t hard to tell which of the
players Ned Shultz was. He was the tallest, the darkest, and the handsomest.
Jim watched as Honey smoothed back her long hair and Diana batted her curly
lashes for a better look at him. Jim grinned at the girls’ reaction to “The
Sheik”, as Ned was apparently known around these parts. A quick scan around
the bleachers told him that many of the local girls were members of the “Ned
fan club” as well. Several of the young ladies in the gymnasium were giggling
as Ned practiced his foul shots. They “oohed and aahed” as each shot swished
through the net. Jim rolled his eyes and turned to
Trixie, who was sitting to his right. Surely, he could count on her to have a
sensible reaction to “The Sheik”. To his surprise, and daresay extreme
disappointment, Trixie’s eyes were glued to Ned’s muscled form. She watched
his quick, perfectly timed progress around the floor. Ned ran close to the
basket, and at precisely the right moment, jumped to slam-dunk the
basketball. Jim silently prayed that the handsome player might not only miss,
but land on his face on the gym floor. However, the ball ripped through the
basket, and Trixie whistled in admiration. If Jim’s eyes hadn’t already been
green, they surely would’ve turned that shade from jealousy as “The Sheik”
came over to speak to the Bob-Whites. He gritted his teeth in silence as Ned
spoke to the others. After finding out that the other team had been delayed,
he offered to let Mart, Brian, and Jim to take a few shots. Jim opened his
mouth to decline when Mart piped up, “That’ll be keen.” After some ribbing from the
Rivervale players, Mart showed off his talent at faking and dribbling, and
flipped the ball accurately into the net. Brian caught it on the bounce, took
a few practice dribbles, then sunk a shot from midcourt. After a bit of clowning by Mart,
Jim retrieved the ball and sunk several shots from around the court. Later
on, he proudly watched as Trixie was coaxed onto the court and sunk several
baskets. His jealousy returned, however, when Ned later lavished praise on
the sandy blonde. Jim’s ears turned as red as his hair when he noticed
Trixie’s blush. That
blush was usually reserved for him.
Rivervale easily won the game,
seventy-six to forty-two. Afterwards, several boys milled around Honey and
Diana, booking them for dances later. Jim was pleased to note that Trixie
stayed close by his side, but his pleasure soon faded when he saw the wistful
expression pass Trixie’s face as she watched the attention received by her
two friends. Before the dance, Trixie, Honey,
and Diana went to the restroom to freshen up. When they returned, Jim quickly
took his position at Trixie’s side, hoping to dissuade any attention she
might receive. “Mmmm, you smell like a flower shop,” he whispered
in her ear as they were heading into the gym for the dance. Suddenly, a group of boys heading
toward Honey and Diana shoved between Trixie and Jim. As he attempted to make
his way back to Trixie, a tall blonde girl grabbed him by the arm. “Excuse
me,” he said politely. “I need to get back to my friends.” The girl pouted and batted her eyes
at Jim. “Don’t you have a minute just to visit?” she cooed. “Well, I don’t mean to be rude, but
I don’t want to leave my friend alone,” Jim stated, scanning the room for
Trixie. “Are you talking about the
curly-haired blonde who made all those shots?” the girl asked. After Jim
nodded, the tall blonde pointed to a crowd of basketball players, and only
then did Jim notice that Trixie was in the center of the circle. Jim’s heart sank as he noticed “The
Sheik” and another boy were jockeying for position near Trixie. How am I supposed to
compete with that? he thought miserably. What chance does red,
freckled, and boring have against tall, dark, and handsome? Taking advantage of his
distraction, the tall blonde pulled him to a place at the long table. Jim
couldn’t see Trixie from this view, so he put his arm across the chair back
of the tall blonde and leaned over to increase his vantage point. As he did,
he saw “The Sheik” lead Trixie to the dance floor. Jim tried his best to be polite to
the annoying girl, whose name he learned was Dot. He attempted to look
interested as she prattled on about ice skating. He stifled a yawn as she
described how “utterly adorable” her costume for the Figure Skating Club
competition was. Finally, he shut her out completely and muttered an occasion
“Really?” as he glared at “The Sheik” and Trixie. The jealous redhead was trying his
best to read lips when he vaguely heard Dot ask a question. Wanting to hurry
up and get her out of his hair, he replied, “Sure,” and tried to figure out
what “The Sheik” had asked Trixie. However, he learned a valuable lesson
about giving an answer when you haven’t heard the question, as Dot dragged
him to the dance floor. He was in total misery as he danced
with Dot. Her cheap perfume was not only overwhelming, it reeked to high
heaven. He would much rather inhale another girl’s sweet-smelling scent. If
that wasn’t bad enough, when Dot faced Jim and commented how wonderful the
band was, Jim noticed how rank her Marlboro breath was. Man, she needs to try that
brushing the tongue thing, he thought grimly. Then the music slowed. Jim and Dot
stopped just in front of Trixie and “The Sheik”. Jim discreetly tried to pull
away from the girl, but discovered she had apparently super-glued herself to
his arm. “Some band,” Jim commented. Not
wanting to be rude, he quickly introduced Dot to Trixie. “Next dance, Trix?”
he asked hopefully as the music started back up and people began moving to
the dance floor. Then, Trixie said the sweetest
words Jim had ever heard. “Yes, Jim,” and she put her hand in his, and he all
was right with his world. While they were dancing, Trixie
said, “It isn’t the same here as it is at our dances at home. I must have
danced with a dozen different boys instead of just one.” Jim’s heart broke at her words,
knowing he
was usually the one Trixie danced with. All this time, he had thought Trixie chose
to dance only with him. I guess she doesn’t like dancing with me after
all,” he thought mournfully. “Yes, I noticed you were having
quite a ball,” Jim said out loud, trying to mask the hurt he felt. “Are you
really having a good time? Ned Shultz seems to have the Indian sign on you.” “And Dot seems to have the Indian
sign on you. You’ve been her slave all evening!” Jim carefully studied Trixie’s
expression. Was that jealousy he saw? “Why, Trixie.” He stopped dancing right in the middle
of the floor and led Trixie to a bench at the side of the room. “You’re
fooling!” “I’m not! If you like that glamour
type best, you’re just welcome to her. I mean it!” Jim was so shocked (not to mention
a bit pleased) at Trixie’s obvious envy that his next words popped out
without much thought to their implication. “I like both kinds. Dot is
glamorous. She’s really glamorous. She went out of her way to be nice to me,
and I appreciate it.” “I can see that you do,” Trixie
replied with a hint of sarcasm in her voice. Then her voice grew wistful as
she added, “Oh, Jim, I wish I’d been born beautiful!” Jim gulped. Did Trixie really think
she wasn’t beautiful? He thought Trixie was the prettiest girl he’d ever
seen. To him, no other girl could compare to his schoolgirl shamus. He loved her curls, especially that
one that hung in the middle of her forehead that he liked to tug. He
especially liked them when they were wild and out of control, and needed
combing. When she gave that little indignant sniff and tossed her head, he
had to catch his breath every single time. He adored her wide, china blue eyes that
seemed to grow even larger when she was on the trail of a mystery. He
marveled at her freckles and spent several hours secretly memorizing the
placement of each one. He fantasized about her soft, full lips, wondering
what it would be like to finally kiss them. He battled his honorability constantly when
he thought about her figure. Trixie referred to it as “sturdy”, but Jim
preferred “shapely”. She was beginning to get curves in all the right places.
He much preferred her curvaceous form to some of the rail-thin girls that
Trixie admired so. Jim’s mind raced, and he fought to
untie his tongue. Should he tell her how beautiful she was? If he did, would
she be flattered, be happy, or be appalled that he felt that way? Or should
he… “The other kind of girl,” he went
on nervously, “didn’t dress up just to impress me or any other boy. She never
does. She’s genuine and so comfortable to be around. She’s my choice of the
two. Right now her sandy curls need combing, and she sure could use some
lipstick!” He mentally smacked himself in the head, wondering how he could
say something so dumb. However, his words seemed to
appease Trixie for the time being. Jim later wondered if he had said the
right thing, but tried to dismiss it from his mind. Coming home from that
trip, he had stopped in a jewelry shop and gotten a silver identification
bracelet. After having his name engraved on it, he had it wrapped and
nervously presented it to Trixie on the plane ride home. From then on, all the other
boys at school knew that Jim and Trixie were special to one another. They had
never officially started “going steady”, but everyone assumed they were, so
Jim never talked to Trixie about it. Although he wanted to make things
official, he knew Mr. Belden would never allow her to be serious about just
one boy, as young as she was. The “special girl” agreement
wasn’t a problem until Trixie’s senior prom. Jim had planned to attend until
the date had to be changed at the last minute. She cried, he apologized, she threatened
to stay home, and he told her to go with Dan or Nick Roberts. The last thing
he heard from Honey was that Trixie was going, but that she was going
alone. On prom night, Jim’s appointments
were cancelled, and he joyfully raced to Crabapple Farm. Looking back, he
knew he should have called to tell Trixie he was coming, but he was afraid he
would be late if he stopped at a phone. He meant to show up just before she
left to surprise her. Instead, he was the one who was surprised. For lo and behold, there was Tad
Webster, the big-time jock, pinning a corsage on his special girl and
kissing his special girl’s
cheek. That didn’t surprise Jim. He’d always thought Tad had a crush on
Trixie. What surprised him was how Trixie reacted to that kiss. She giggled
and looked as if she enjoyed it! Jim felt betrayed and rejected. He
had always been jealous when the all-American looking guys like Tad, Peter
Kimball, and Ned “The Sheik” Shultz had paid Trixie attention. How could he
compete with them? Why would Trixie want some redheaded step-kid when she
could have Mr. All-American Athlete? He left without anyone seeing him.
He never told a soul what he had seen, not even Brian, and especially not
Honey. He buried his hurt at Trixie’s rejection along with all his other
pain. By now, he had quite a mound of
bitterness that had taken root… The best thing to do, he had told himself, is to
find somebody else and forget all about Trixie. Easier said than done. He returned from college
several weeks later and announced he had a girlfriend. He purposely watched
Trixie for any reaction, but he couldn’t read her expression. He suffered
right along with everyone else through the ABC parade of dumb blondes, as
Mart so eloquently called them, while deep in his heart, he ached for
Trixie. He watched for any sign that she was
interested in him, but so far, he hadn’t seen any indication that she wanted
to be more than friends. She only occasionally dated, so Jim assumed that she
was more interested in her detective work than in having a serious
relationship. Jim desired a family of his
own more than anything else. He thought that might help lessen all the pain
he had buried deep inside. He wanted a loving wife who would support his
dream of the school; he dreamed of having children of his own. In those
dreams, he always had a little girl with sandy curls and wide, china blue
eyes and a boy with hair just as red as his father’s. He was dating Tiffany
something or another when he met Amanda Woodward at a charity event he’d
attended with his father. He was immediately captivated by her beauty, and
she seemed to be a nice person, as well. She was intelligent, had her own
business, and came from a wealthy, well-connected family. But, perhaps what
Jim liked best was that Amanda had a concern for troubled children and worked
with many charities raising money for them. Jim spent a lot of time with
Amanda and grew genuinely fond of her. They had common interests, and their
dates were always pleasant. She used her father’s connections to find
donations for his school and eagerly attended fundraisers. They had been dating for over
a year now. She obviously expected Jim to take the next step in their
relationship and ask her to marry him. At the last dinner they attended, her
father told him what an asset a good wife is in the business world. Jim took
that as a hint to buy a ring. But something was holding him back. Or rather, someone. In the back of his mind, Jim
still dreamed of Trixie. Without a doubt, he knew that he had fallen head
over heels in love with Trixie Belden the second they locked eyes for the
first time. He had a connection with her that was unlike any he had ever
shared with another person. Though he tried to hide his insecurities to those
around him, Trixie seemed able to peer into his very soul with one glance. No matter what he did, he
could not get Trixie out of his system. No matter how many gorgeous blondes
he dated, his heart drifted back to the most beautiful girl he knew. Every
time he tried to get serious in a relationship, his mind wandered back to a
single kiss shared many years ago. No other memory was as precious to Jim as
the memory of his first real kiss. One’s first kiss is always
special, but this was beyond that. This kiss, though much too brief, unlocked
all the secrets of the universe.
Though several kisses with other people had been less awkward and
lengthier, none had ever surpassed that first kiss’ passion and intensity. No
kiss since had ever made Jim feel so hot, yet so chilled; so weak, yet so
exhilarated; so wanting, yet so complete.
His senses were both heightened and deadened. His pulse pounded, yet
his heart stopped. It gave the term “mysterious” an entirely new meaning. And no kiss had ever had that
same effect on him since. Jim had never told a soul
about that kiss, and he was sure she hadn’t, either. But after that kiss, he
knew his soul would never be complete until he made Trixie Belden his wife. Not long after that first
kiss, he’d asked Peter Belden for his great-aunt’s engagement ring so that he
could have it reset for Trixie. Jim explained his honorable intentions to Mr.
Belden and asked permission to propose once Trixie graduated from high
school. He promised they would have a long engagement, and not marry until
she’d finished college. Jim nervously rambled on
about the benefits of always being prepared, and most likely would’ve
chattered all day if Peter Belden had not stopped him. Having known for years
that this day would come, Trixie’s father agreed to give the ring to him, but
reminded Jim of his promises to wait until Trixie had graduated college to
marry. After a few vividly described threats about what would happen if his
baby girl’s heart was ever broken, Peter slapped Jim on the back and told him
there was nobody he would rather have as a son-in-law. Someday. In the
distant future, that is. After the prom mishap, Jim
had tried to give the ring back to Peter, but he told Jim to hang onto it for
safe-keeping. Jim didn’t understand why, but he did as Peter asked and kept
it in his father’s security box at the bank. And there it remained until
recently. Jim stood and walked over to
the wall vault in his study. He dialed the combination, opened the safe, and
pulled out two small boxes. He opened the first. A two-carat Cartier diamond
twinkled brightly. He studied it a bit, and then laid it on the desk. Hesitantly, he opened the
other jeweler’s case. The ring nestled in that box was a one-of-a-kind
design. The stone wasn’t as large as the first ring’s, but its quality was
more impressive. One could tell by the design that this ring was an antique
that was timeless in its beauty and style. Jim laid this box on the desk, as
well. He studied both rings and debated in his
mind what to do. One ring was beautiful and expensive. It was from the best
store and would be admired by all who saw it. The design was typical and,
therefore, safe. He had no worries that that particular ring would be
welcomed to its intended recipient. The other ring was less
ornate, but it had a certain quality that caught one’s eye. Something about
it made it stand out from all the others. It was different from most
engagement rings of today, but that made it even more valuable. Because its
stone wasn’t extremely large, that ring may not be noticed upon first glance,
but once one studied it, they would find it was the rarest and most precious
of gems. And so the debate resumed
between Jim’s head and his heart. In his head, he knew Amanda would be
thrilled to become his wife. There was no fear of rejection. He knew without
a doubt that Amanda loved him. She would support him and the school. And he
loved her, although he wasn’t sure he was in love with her. However, his heart seemed to
say “Trixie” with each and every beat. To follow his heart, Jim would have to
battle every single demon he’d buried inside. Rejection, fear of abandonment,
an inferiority complex; he must face them all. This road was less sure, for
he had no idea how Trixie truly felt about him. She seemed content to work at
the agency and stay in her “rut”, as she’d said earlier. Deep down, Jim knew he would never
love anyone the way he loved Trixie. But did she love him back, or would he
be forced to face another painful rejection? He considered all his
options, took a deep breath, made a reluctant choice, and, with a trembling
hand, picked up a box from the desk. Now to find the girl…
Thank
you to my lovely editors, Kathy and Kaye! I was very insecure about posting
this, but they were very encouraging! Thank you all so much for all your
help! I
know these stories have mostly had a lighthearted approach to them, but Jim
desperately wanted me to tell his side of the story. Jim could not have
endured the trials he did and not have any emotional scars to show for it.
This fanfic explores some of his wounds. Maybe now that Jim has admitted them
to me, he will be able to begin the healing process. The
“hair needs combing and she sure could use some lipstick” and the
“comfortable and genuine” comments have long been debated. Once again, I had
to explain something that bugged me. I never felt Jim meant anything mean by
what he said. I always thought his words just didn’t come out right. Several
books were quoted without permission, such as Mystery Off Were
you surprised by the mention of some kiss that apparently happened years ago?
Yeah, me too! But I finally gave into Jim’s cajoling. More about that kiss in
a Here
and Now universe story, What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve? The
Marlboro breath was a concoction of the glorious Kathy! I thought it was
hysterical, and I wanted to make sure she had the credit for it! Once
again, if you’re interested, visit the Blooper Reel
for my attempt at humor. *G*
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