Part Two

Author’s note:

Our story continues on the ride home from Ruthie Mundy’s baby shower. If you’d like a refresher, click the link to read Part One. Otherwise, keep reading to find out what madness ensues when Trixie, Honey, and Diana are all alone. I was advised to give this chapter a small food and drink warning, so read with caution if you are at work or in a crowd.

The trip from Christy’s house to Mart and Diana’s took less than twenty minutes. However, it could possibly have been the longest twenty minutes in history. To say that the ride was an adventure was putting it mildly. The fireworks and explosions turned that short trip into the set of an action movie starring Trixie, Honey, and Diana.

The occupants of the electric blue Civic varied greatly in personality; therefore, the events that had transpired at the baby shower evoked three very different responses from each of them. All together, the trio ran the entire gamut of feelings from elation to depression, and everywhere in between.

Trixie was on the happy side of the spectrum. A wide grin nearly split her face in half. She sat in the driver’s seat, her dimples the size of craters as she tapped out a happy beat on the steering wheel. If a pedestrian had seen her, he would’ve gotten the wrong impression for sure. Her smile went beyond merely amused. It was the kind of grin you would see on the devil’s face after he had done something particularly wicked and was especially proud of himself.

Honey was somewhere in the middle of the range. She sat in the backseat, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. It was a sure sign that she was fretting about something. The tiny piece of dead skin she’d been chewing on had long since removed. Her mouth had become tender, but she had been too consumed with her thoughts to notice.

Diana was the polar opposite of Trixie. At the party, she had locked herself in the bathroom after her violent exchange with Jane. She came out only when it was time to leave. After wishing Ruthie well and thanking Christy for her hospitality, Diana had continued her quiet vigil in the passenger’s seat. Her lovely violet eyes, usually so lively and bright, were cloudy as they took in the passing scenery. Trees, houses, and people flashed by at a rapid pace, but if Diana noticed the sights they passed, she didn’t comment on them. She was too distracted by her whirlwind of emotions to really see her surroundings.

Finding the silence disconcerting, Honey finally spoke up. “Wow, now that was some baby shower,” she commented weakly.

Trixie didn’t share Honey’s misgivings. Bubbling over with excitement, she was practically bouncing up and down in the driver’s seat. “You aren’t kidding! That shower was freakin’ awesome!”

“Trixie!” Honey exclaimed, astonished by her friend’s attitude.

“In fact,” Trixie continued, undaunted by Honey’s surprise, “that was the absolute most fun anyone has ever had in the entire history of showers!”

Honey’s voice raised a decibel as she repeated her friend’s name, this time in admonition. “Trixie!”

A natural at profiling, Honey was a good judge of character. She knew Trixie had the uncanny ability to bounce back quickly after she had been wronged. Diana, on the other hand, was more emotional, and tended to take things very hard. While Trixie could forget even if she didn’t necessarily forgive, Diana was so sensitive that she replayed a hurt over and over in her mind.

“Admit it… That shower was nothing short of amazing!” Trixie proclaimed heartily.

Honey snorted. “If you ask me, it was a lot more interesting than it was amazing.”

“Huh! Interesting doesn’t even begin to cover it. That shower was frickin’ fantastic!”

“More like craptastic, if you ask me,” Honey muttered.

Trixie assumed a thoughtful expression. “Do you think Ruthie would let me send the tape to ‘America’s Funniest Home Videos’? She’d win the grand prize for sure!”

“Trixie!” Honey repeated. “Have you lost your mind?”

“You’re right. Some of Jane’s ramblings weren’t G-rated. Maybe I’ll send it to Jerry Springer instead.”

Honey shook her head in disbelief. “Considering the way Jane badmouthed you, I’m surprised you had such a good time,” she stated wryly.

“Well, she did get a few good digs in,” Trixie admitted. “But in the end, it was worth it to see Di slap the crap out of her.”

“Oh, Trixie.” This time, Honey sounded more exasperated than reproachful when she said her friend’s name.

“C’mon, Hon.” Diana’s silence must have been convincing, because Trixie continued to talk about the third member of their party like she wasn’t even there. “You can’t deny that watching Di lay the smack down on Jane Morgan was better than playing all those lame games they usually bring out at showers. I’d much rather relive that scene over and over in my mind than win a million dumb door prizes.”

Honey’s lips twitched from the effort of suppressing a grin.

“Seeing Jane finally get hers was like Christmas, Easter, and the Fourth of July all rolled into one!” Trixie gushed. “Why, this was one of the greatest days ever! Someone should declare today a national holiday. How can I start the ball rolling on that?”

Unable to restrain the smile any longer, Honey allowed her lips to curve upward slightly. “And what would you suggest they name this holiday? Pain for Jane Day?”

“Actually, I was thinking about something like National Smack a Slut Day…” Trixie replied tartly. “Do you think Hallmark would be able to come up with greeting cards for that?”

Honey did her best to stifle a giggle that would further encourage her friend. “Trixie.” This time, she tried to sound stern, but her efforts were ruined by the hint of humor that had managed to creep in her voice.

In the span of the blink of an eye, Trixie’s mood shifted from impish to sober. “The only bad thing is,” she announced, “that it’ll be nearly impossible to top this during my own bridal shower.” She gave her passenger a hasty sidelong glance. “Di, I don’t suppose I can talk you into a rematch this spring…”

Diana was too busy looking out the window to answer.

Undeterred, Trixie shouted excitedly, “Gleeps! Imagine Cindy Adams’s write-up for Page Six if you knocked Jane unconscious at my shower! I’d sure enter the gossip column scene by storm!”

“Yes,” Honey responded sarcastically. “And you’d undoubtedly become the darling of the society pages, as well.”

Diana never even smiled.

From the vantage point of the backseat, Honey watched as Diana shifted her body so that her back was turned to Trixie. Her thick mane of blue-black waves blocked most of her face as she rested her forehead against the window. Honey knew something was wrong.

“Ruthie certainly received a lot of nice gifts,” she commented in an attempt to change the subject. “I’m glad she liked the car seat.”

Neither Trixie nor Diana spoke, although each remained silent for her own reason.

“The stroller Amy got her was nice,” Honey added lamely. She sensed her words were falling upon deaf ears, so she tried again. “And the food was fabulous. The cake Christy selected was just as scrumptious as it was lovely.”

Her observations were met with silence. Trixie clenched the steering wheel, the devilish grin still planted on her lips. Unless Honey missed her guess, Trixie’s foot was inching closer and closer to her mouth; another outburst was inevitable. Diana remained wordless as she stared outside. Her entire body was tense, as if she was preparing herself mentally for another such eruption.

Honey cleared her throat before continuing her censored commentary of the shower events. “That punch was delicious. I’ll have to ask Christy for the recipe.”

Like a volcano bursting with lava, Trixie could no longer contain the emotions bubbling within her. “I just can’t believe that Jane Morgan!” she thundered, slapped the steering wheel to accentuate her words. “She’s even nastier now than she was in high school, and that’s saying something.”

Honey glanced over at Diana’s huddled form, wondering if it would do more harm than good to ignore Trixie’s comment.

Sensing her friend’s hesitation, Trixie forced her to respond. “Don’t you think she’s worse now, Hon?”

Although Honey had hoped that Trixie would pick up on her hint to talk about something other than Jane Morgan, she knew it was difficult for Trixie to shift gears. Well, I guess that this same old subject is better than uncomfortable silence, Honey deduced.

“Poor Christy had no idea what she was getting into when she invited Jane to Ruthie’s shower,” she remarked aloud.

Trixie shrugged. “Apparently Christy hasn’t lived here long enough to have heard about Jane’s history with the Bob-Whites.”

“Jane didn’t limit her nastiness to the three of us,” Honey pointed out. “I’m pretty sure she zinged just about everyone at the shower, including the guest of honor.”

“Yeah, I couldn’t believe that she actually told Ruthie that she’d taken that ‘eating for two’ thing a little too literally,” Trixie snorted.

Honey rolled her eyes. “Jane proved once again that, beneath that snotty exterior, there is no heart of gold. She really is nothing more than a cold-hearted tramp.”

“You’ve got that right,” Trixie agreed with a snicker.

“Frankly, I’m shocked that Christy didn’t tell her to be quiet,” Honey remarked.

Trixie chuckled. “I think Jane was too much for Christy to handle.”

“Still, she should’ve done something. Jane was out of control.”

“That’s putting it mildly.” Trixie cast an apprehensive glance in Diana’s direction. Although Trixie was occasionally self-absorbed, she wasn’t completely dense. Now that her excitement had waned, she noticed that the third member of their party hadn’t spoken a single word since they’d said their goodbyes. Even then, Diana had been uncharacteristically quiet.

“I almost died when Jane told Amy that she looked like Jennifer Grey before her nose job,” Honey recalled. In spite of her earlier reservations, she couldn’t help but be sucked into the gossip. “And there was a lot of tension when she hinted that Jenny had broken up Mark Nelson’s marriage.”

“Don’t forget when she accused Patty of having a clown car for a va-jay-jay, since she had four kids so quickly,” Trixie added with a devilish snicker.

Honey made a face. “I hate that term. It’s so nasty and crude.”

“But it’s so Jane Morgan!” Trixie whooped.

“You’ve got a point there,” Honey admitted. “I can’t expect a tramp like Jane to have much class.”

Trixie hooted with laughter. “Yeah, words like ‘class’ and ‘Jane Morgan’ are rarely used in the same sentence. Asking Fay if she had ever been exorcised after living in the Lisgard Mansion certainly wasn’t the most mannerly way to start the party.”

“Well, that’s not half as bad as when she accused Mariellen of spiking her patients’ food with Demerol so she could have quickies with Dr. Harding,” Honey retorted. “Can you believe that?”

Trixie snickered. “If you ask me, it was a whole lot worse when she informed Dawn Victors that Paul had lost his virginity to her. Poor Dawn almost burst into tears.”

“Yeah, that was pretty low,” Honey agreed. “Leave it to Jane to ruin a perfectly good baby shower.”

“Ruin it?” Trixie hooted loudly. “Seriously, she made it the best shower ever!”

Honey smirked at her friend. “Yes, I believe that you’ve mentioned that a time or two. I’m ashamed of you, Trixie Belden. You’re positively wicked for taking such pleasure in poor Ruthie’s misfortune.”

Trixie assumed a serious expression. “Don’t you mean Jane’s misfortune? She’s the one that left with a red mark on her cheek.”

“You goose!” Honey laughed.

An impish grin wiggled at the corners of Trixie’s mouth, completely destroying her feigned severity. “It’s not my fault that you reap what you sow.”

Honey fought to stifle a giggle. “Trixie!”

“What?” Trixie inquired innocently. “It’s true! I once heard a preacher say that you can’t beat God’s law of sowing and reaping. Jane’s just lucky that she didn’t get a few broken teeth, because after all the meanness that she’s sown through the years, she deserved to reap a lot more than just a slap in the face.”

Honey laughed, but Diana remained silent.

Struck with a thought, Trixie’s entire face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Do you think she’ll have a black eye tomorrow?” she inquired hopefully.

“Trixie!” Honey repeated for the fifth or sixth time in the past ten minutes. Sensing Diana’s discomfort, she chided herself for succumbing to the urge to gossip. “Maybe we should change the subject. Di probably doesn’t want to talk about this right now.”

“I would if I were her,” Trixie retorted. She glanced over at Diana, slightly awestruck. “You did something that I’ve dreamed of doing since grade school. How’d it feel to clean her clock, Di?”

“Trixie!” Honey gasped.

Trixie used the rearview mirror to shoot an annoyed glare in the direction of the backseat.

“It’s time to talk about something else,” Honey directed firmly, squarely meeting Trixie’s gaze.

With a sniff, Trixie turned her attention back to the road. “My question was directed to Di.”

Diana, however, failed to provide an answer.

Sighing with impatience, Trixie repeated her inquiry, unable to understand why Diana wasn’t reveling in her moment of triumph. “What did it feel like to punch Jane?”

“Awful,” Diana muttered softly, her forehead still leaning against the window.

“Awful?” Trixie’s voice took on an incredulous tone. “Surely you jest!”

“Honey’s right, Trix,” Diana said quietly. “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

Trixie’s mouth flopped open. “Why not? You’ve just become a hero to women all over Sleepyside! And not only to the ladies! Why, I’ll bet that half the men would give you a medal of honor for slapping that wench. You did what you had to.”

“All I did was ruin poor Ruthie’s baby shower,” Diana murmured.

“Heck, I bet after that ‘eating for two’ comment, seeing you slap Jane was the best gift Ruthie received,” Trixie chortled.

Diana didn’t agree. She shook her head in disdain, angry with herself for allowing her crazy mood swings to affect her in such a way. “I don’t care how nasty Jane was; there’s no excuse for my behavior.” A frown curved her lips downward. “I slapped someone. At a baby shower, no less. I’m horrified. How could I do that?”

“Di, you know that I’m a peacemaker at heart,” Honey began soothingly, “but in this instance, I happen to agree with Trixie. Jane Morgan got exactly what she deserved.”

Trixie’s eyes glimmered with humor. “Yeah, you know what they say. Karma’s a real—”

“Maybe Jane did deserve it,” Diana interrupted curtly, “but I shouldn’t have been the one to dish out her just desserts.”

Trixie’s blue eyes widened with curiosity. “You sound like you’re afraid of her.”

Diana pursed her lips, carefully deciding upon her reply before speaking. “I’m not afraid for myself, but yes, I do think Jane has something up her sleeve. She was awfully arrogant.”

“What do you mean?” Trixie pressed.

“All I’m saying is that we haven’t heard the last from Jane,” Diana hedged. “Mart has told me some things about her that I’m not at liberty to discuss. However, I can tell you this: If you thought she treated the three of us spitefully at the party, then you’d better brace yourselves. Jane Morgan has an unlimited supply of tricks in her bag. We haven’t heard the last of the wicked witch of Sleepyside.”

“Then we’ll just have to keep a bucket of water handy,” Trixie surmised.

Diana smiled weakly. “I’m afraid it’s going to take more than a bucket of water to protect us from Jane.”

“Hmm…” Trixie murmured under her breath. “I wonder how hard it would be to sneak some hydrochloric acid from the lab at Ten Acres…”

Ignoring Trixie’s threat as idle, Honey giggled. “Uh-oh. I hope the chemistry teacher keeps the door to his classroom locked.”

Trixie winked. “Since I’m a master at picking locks, it really wouldn’t matter.”

“You don’t seriously think Jane would harm us physically, do you?” Honey asked Diana.

“Not physically,” Diana amended. “But in my opinion, she wouldn’t think twice about blackmailing one of us. She sounded obsessed with our families’ money, and from what I’ve heard, she doesn’t have much of it herself. I wouldn’t be surprised if she tried to cash in at our expense.”

Trixie waved her hand in dismissal. “What could she possibly blackmail us about? We have nothing to hide.”

“Trixie, you of all people know that that isn’t true,” Diana cautioned.

Trixie peeked back at Honey, who had turned white as a ghost. It was most certainly true that Trixie had her share of secrets, some more important to keep than others. Her immediate concern was the situation with Jim’s stalker. She and Honey were the only Bob-Whites who knew about that. Or had that secret gotten out?

“What do you mean?” Trixie squeaked.

Diana sighed deeply. “Didn’t you hear her at the shower? She knows about you and Jim, Trix.”

“So?” Trixie gave a shrug of indifference. “Who cares if she does? Jim’s telling the press in a little over a week anyway.”

“But what if she leaks the word before then?” Diana’s delicate brow wrinkled with worry. “I wouldn’t put it past her.”

“I hope she does,” Trixie retorted. Her chin stubbornly edged its way up. “It would make my day if she’d ask that idiot brother of hers to write an article about it in the Sun. Maybe if I’m really lucky, the New York Post will pick it up and everyone in the Unites States will see it. I’ll be relieved when everyone knows that Jim’s engagement to Amanda is a sham and that he’s actually going to marry me.”

Diana shook her head. “I wouldn’t tangle with Jane, Trixie. She’s more dangerous than she looks.”

The ominous warning hung in the air. Deep in thought, Trixie focused on the road. In fact, she was pondering so intently that she almost forgot to make her first stop.

“Hey! Slow down!” Honey pointed to a driveway a few feet away. “Don’t forget to drop me off at Brian’s. Remember, I’m supposed to help him unpack.”

“Unpacking… Oh, is that what they call it now?” Trixie asked in her most angelic voice. She giggled as Honey playfully slapped her on the arm. “If you don’t quit, you’re going to make me crash into a tree.”

Fortunately, Trixie pulled into Brian’s driveway without having an accident. “Do you need me to pick you up later?” she asked as Honey opened her door.

“Brian will bring me home later. See ya!” With that, Honey slammed the door closed and practically skipped up to the house.

Trixie grinned as she pulled her Civic back onto the main road. “I wouldn’t be surprised if those two were engaged by spring.”

“I thought Brian wanted to have his own house and business before he asked Honey to marry him,” Diana remarked.

“I didn’t want to say anything at the party,” Trixie began, “but Dr. Ferris asked Brian to take over his practice when he retires in a few months. And I wouldn’t be surprised if Brian ended up buying that house he’s renting.”

“For Honey’s sake, I hope you’re right,” Diana said. “I think she’s ready to take the next step.”

Trixie chuckled. “Yeah, she’s almost as ready as Moms and Maddie. If you ask me, planning one wedding isn’t enough for those two. They’re so anxious to marry everyone off that they need to start their own business planning weddings.”

“There’re certainly a lot of changes for the Bob-Whites on the horizon,” Diana murmured. “You and Jim will be married soon; Brian and Dan have moved back to Sleepyside; Honey could get that engagement ring she’s been dreaming of for so long…”

“Sounds like you and Mart are the only stagnant ones in the bunch,” Trixie joked.

Diana’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Well, what can I say? I guess your brother and I like our ruts.”

“Have you ever thought about shaking things up a bit?” Trixie asked somewhat hesitantly.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Trixie tried her best to sound nonchalant. “Not all change is bad.” She paused for a few seconds, and then spoke again in what she hoped was a nonchalant tone. “Boy, nobody could accuse Ruthie and Lester of being in a rut. Their whole lives are about to be turned upside-down.”

“Yeah,” Diana agreed in voice that was barely audible.

Trixie gave her a sidelong glance. “So, what do you and Mart think about having kids?”

“We think that it’s a private matter between a husband and wife,” Diana replied pointedly.

Trying to be helpful in her own way, Trixie plunged forward. “Well, I think that you should consider it. I’d love a little niece or nephew. Aunt Trixie has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”

“Maybe Honey and Brian will decide to start a family immediately after they marry.”

Trixie wrinkled her nose. “I thought you wanted kids, Di.”

“I do, but… I’m… We’re…It’s just not the right time,” Diana stammered.

“Does Mart feel the same way? He told me a few months ago that you two were thinking about it.”

Diana exhaled loudly. “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel like talking about this right now, Trixie. I’m kind of tired.”

Trixie wanted to drop the subject, honestly she did. However, misguided as she was, her concern for her loved ones made it impossible to leave it alone. “Is it your career?” she ventured. “Are you afraid you’d have to give up your job at the museum if you had a baby?”

“Of course not—”

“Jim could find someone to teach art and drama at Ten Acres for a while,” Trixie interjected. “He’d do everything in his power to help you out.”

“I know that, but—”

“And I know that the stuff Jane was spouting about Mart being immature and you being afraid of losing your figure was a load of crap,” Trixie snorted. “Even when we were in high school, all you could talk about was having a houseful of babies.”

“Yes, but—”

“Then why aren’t there a passel of kids calling me Aunt Trixie?” she demanded playfully.

“Can’t you take a hint?” Diana eyes blazed as she huffed through a protruded lower lip. “I told you that I don’t want to talk about this! It’s not the right time!”

The car grew silent as Trixie tried her hardest to shelve the topic. A sidelong peek revealed a face tormented with pent-up anguish. Longing to relieve Diana of her pain, she began in a much gentler tone. “Di, you know that I love you. We’ve been best friends for most of our lives. You can always talk to me about anything.”

Diana’s expression softened noticeably. “I know that, Trix.”

“And you know that I only pry because I care.”

“I do,” Diana conceded, smiling faintly.

Trixie took a deep breath before she plunged in headfirst. “Well, I have a theory about what’s wrong.”

“Trixie,” Diana began in a pleading voice, “please don’t—”

“I’m willing to bet money that you’re pregnant now,” Trixie burst out.

Diana whipped her head around to face Trixie, her chin slack from surprise. A split second later, she clamped her jaw shut and faced forward. “I’d be careful, Trixie,” she said through gritted teeth. “You’re liable to lose your shirt making bets like that.”

“You have to admit that it would explain a lot.”

“Exactly what would it explain?” Diana demanded hotly.

Trixie winced, wondering if she should explain or just shut up while she was still ahead. “Umm… You know. Your moodiness, the weight gain you mentioned, why you haven’t been feeling well…”

“Those symptoms would explain a lot of things!” Diana snapped. Her evasive answers only fueled the fire.

Trixie reached over for Diana’s hand. “Di, I know you’re really going through something. You haven’t been yourself for weeks.” Out of the corner of her eye, Trixie could see tears pooling in Diana’s violet eyes. “Something is wrong, isn’t it?”

Diana gave the faintest hint of a nod.

“If you’d just be honest with me, you’d feel better.”

Diana jerked her hand away. “Just leave me alone, Trixie!”

Trixie hesitated. Since Diana had never actually denied her accusations, she decided there must be some reason Diana wasn’t sharing the good news. “Di, if you’re pregnant, we’re going to find out sooner or later. I know you’re feeling overwhelmed now, but after the shock wears off—”

“Please, Trixie…” Diana pleaded in a quivery voice.

“Sweetie, I hope you aren’t worried that if you and Mart make an announcement you’ll steal attention from the wedding.” Trixie looked over at Diana, her brow furrowed with concern. “A baby in the family would be just another reason to celebrate! Why, maybe you could announce your pregnancy at the engagement party the Wheelers are throwing for Jim and me. Believe me, I don’t mind sharing the paparazzi. So if you’re worried—”

Diana’s lips and chin trembled. “Trixie, I’m not worried—”

“Don’t even try to deny it,” Trixie interrupted. “Remember when you told Mart not to announce your engagement until after Dan’s graduation from John Jay? You didn’t want to steal his thunder so you made Mart wait until a month later. If that’s what you’re doing now, I know you mean well, but you don’t need to bother.”

“Trixie, I don’t—”

Trixie smiled over at her friend. “Di, you don’t have to hide it from us any longer. We know the truth, and we couldn’t be happier.”

“Trixie Belden, you don’t know anything!” Diana exploded. The tears she’d struggled to hold back finally streamed down her cheeks. “Why can’t you learn to mind your own business?”

Trixie reached out to touch Diana’s shoulder, but Diana scooted out of reach. “Di, you’re my best friend and my sister-in-law—”

“That doesn’t give you any right to interfere in my life!” Diana stormed.

“I wasn’t interfering,” Trixie insisted. “I was just trying to help—”

“You can help us the most by keeping your nose out of our business!” Diana stormed. “We aren’t your clients! We didn’t hire you to stick your nose in where it doesn’t belong! This is none of your concern, so drop it!”

Although the car had barely rolled to a stop, Diana had already hopped out before Trixie could even shift it into park. Mart, who had been in the front yard shoveling snow off the porch, easily discerned something was wrong and rushed over to his wife. Curious, Trixie watched as the pair spoke for several minutes. Even at a distance, Trixie could tell that it was an intense conversation.

After kissing his wife lightly on the lips, Mart strode down the cobblestone path towards Trixie’s car while Diana ran to the sanctuary of her home. It was obvious by Mart’s posture and expression that he was furious. Deciding to take the bull by the horns, Trixie got out of her car and waited for him. Taking a deep breath, she braced herself for the upcoming confrontation with her almost-twin.

She had just jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Credits:

Thank you to my wonderful editors, Steph H, Kaye, and Ryl. You ladies went above and beyond the call of duty. Thank you!

This chapter was difficult to write. I wanted to keep Trixie pushing Diana without seeming too oblivious. She honestly meant well, and I took special care to portray her in that manner.

Once again, a lot of canon characters were mentioned throughout.

Are you intrigued about Jane Morgan? I hope so. I truly hope so. Mwah-ha-haa!

If you’re curious why Trixie was so adamant about Di being pregnant, go read "Days of Auld Lang Syne". Di’s conversation with her mother should explain everything.